People rally around woman who refused to go on a girls' trip with her school friends

It's common for women to discuss weddings, relationships, or having babies with friends. However, it's considerate to avoid these topics when some friends prefer not to discuss them. Similarly, a woman, u/Remarkable_Lake410, asked people if she was wrong to skip the girls' trip because her friends would be busy talking about their lives, which included weddings and babies. Many supported her decision to skip the trip, citing a need for more consideration from her friends.

She begins her post by noting that the group consists of eight friends from school. "Now, we don't live in the same place. We meet up a couple of times a year for a weekend in an Airbnb. This used to be a weekend of good food, drinks, hot tub, etc.," the woman writes. She then talks about herself and says she is content with her life. Also, she is single, dating, and doesn't want a child anytime soon. "Around 5 of my friends are either married or are in a very long-term relationship, of these two either has a baby or are pregnant," she adds. She says other than this trip, she will meet her friends for occasions like weddings or baby events. 

While talking about the girls' trip, she informs her friends that she can not make it and does not give any reason initially. However, when one of her friends, who is also pregnant, asks her, she tells her the truth. "I am not going because it's a massive financial expense, for three days, where we only talk about people's upcoming engagements/weddings/babies. I have a lot going on, but I feel a lot of my friends do not show interest unless I talk about someone I'm dating," the woman writes. She also shares that the last time she heard her friend talk about her breastfeeding plans for more than an hour, even though she wasn't pregnant or trying, which she found "boring and dismissive." 

Another reason she does not want to go on the trip is it will be expensive for her to feel bad about herself. "I made clear when telling my friend this that I am thrilled for them all living the lives they want, but maybe it's not the weekend for me at the moment. Meaning it feels like the group has two distinct life stages, I'm in the minority and it focuses on one stage," she writes. After hearing this, her friend gets hurt, thinking she is not interested in their lives. She clarifies that is not the case and it is a struggle to fit the trip into her calendar and finances. 

Later in the post, the woman clarifies that she shows interest in all the events her friends invite her to. She adds that she texts them to get updates about their lives but doesn't want to spend three days talking about these things, as they don't show any interest in her life. Also, she says that her friend apologized after her initial reaction but is still convincing her to come. She also shares that she has other friends in the city with whom she gets along well. "Maybe this is because we became friends as adults and have a more similar lifestyle, who knows," she concludes. 

People backed up the woman on the platform and shared their views. u/Dependent_Praline_93 commented, "NTA because the real issue here is different from how it seems. On the surface, this seems like it's just about engagements, weddings, and babies. You go out of your way to be constantly supportive of them. However, they don't reciprocate that for you. They can't relate to anything or want to relate to anything outside of their lives. It would be like if you just won an award, but all they talked about was the pie they just ate that morning."

u/Ralfton wrote, "Yup, exactly. When OP says she's traveled for several of her friends' events, but she's never visited, that sealed the deal for me." u/smoking_hot_ice shared, "NTA. We all change as we get older. You naturally drift apart from some friends, especially if their lifestyle changes dramatically (think married with children, in particular). I wouldn't want to spend a lot of money to spend 3 days with a group that had such dis-similar interests. And I don't think it was wrong to be truthful when your friend asked you why you wouldn't go."