'He doesn’t cook, clean, or help out in any way. I was nervous about leaving her home with her but I had no choice,' wrote the mom.
A new survey released as a part of Motherly’s 2023 State of Motherhood, shows that most moms feel like they need to “do it all” with minimum help in a household. The chores include everything from laundry and dishes to even doing other invisible tasks like keeping track of kids’ schedules and packing for vacations. Of the about 10,000 moms surveyed, 58% said that they were the primary parent who was responsible for running a household and family management, reports Scary Mommy. This is true for many moms. A woman shared on Reddit that she had to fake a kidnapping of her daughter to teach her husband a lesson about being responsible.
The mother, a 29-year-old woman, wrote in the post that she recently started working after having a daughter who is 4 months old. “Daycare is too expensive so my husband (who is 35 years old) reluctantly agreed to stay home. It’s important to know that he’s been unemployed since 2021,” the Reddit user wrote.
Her husband receives benefits and she said that he is “extremely lazy.” “He doesn’t cook, clean, or help out in any way. I was nervous about leaving her home with her father but I had no choice,” expressed the woman.
However, the first few days, the mother thought that her husband was being responsible and taking good care of the child. “When I came back from work, she was clean and sleeping. The next few times I came home he was either playing with her, feeding her or out for a walk with her. I was happy,” explained the mom.
After this, her neighbor told her that as soon as the mom leaves the house, the baby cries for hours, and once she tried to knock on the door and he answered after a while as he was sleeping. “I concluded that he sleeps all day and right. Before I come home, he pretends to care for her,” said the woman.
So, the next day, the mother decided to take a day off from work but left home at her regular time. “Waited 30 minutes and then went home. Sure, enough he was knocked out of sleep with his stupid noise-canceling headphones on. I went to my daughter’s room, scooped her up and took her to my friend’s house,” shared the Reddit user.
She waited for two hours and then called up her husband to tell him that she was coming home early that day. “He called me back saying that he can’t find the baby. He told me that he was going to call the police but before he did, I told him what I did. He called me an a**hole and a lot of other words too,” wrote the woman.
“When I got home his mother was there ‘calming his nerves’ because he has a panic attack. She also called me an a**hole. My husband decided to sleep at her house. Family members are telling me that I’m a terrible person,” said that mom. She then asked fellow Reddit users if what she did was that bad.
The post went viral with 22.9k upvotes on Reddit and is captioned, “AITA for ‘kidnapping’ my baby, causing my husband to have a panic attack.”
Many were upset about the way the husband behaved. u/katelynajones commented, “You are lucky your neighbor told you and didn't call CPS. Because this is neglect and dangerous. I'd divorce my husband over this, period.” u/CrystalQueen3000 wrote, “He is not an appropriate caretaker for your child and if I were you I’d be reconsidering the relationship completely.”
u/Cinnamngrl shared, “NTA, but now you know he cannot be trusted alone with your baby.” u/zombieqatz expressed, “Nta he has been endangering your newborn for no good reason. He doesn't work, he doesn't clean, he doesn't parent, and so you're left with someone who doesn't prioritize your family.”