People in long term relationships share 25 small things they do to keep the love alive

Devotion to your partner can be the lifeline that keeps a relationship strong, especially when daily obligations and routines threaten to overshadow the warmth of human connection. While grand gestures are nice, it’s the little, everyday acts of love, concern, and gratitude that truly define affection. When u/probably_flustered asked on Reddit, "How do you and your partner show each other affection in your day-to-day lives?" people shared an outpouring of heartwarming responses.

The comment section quickly turned into a vibrant exchange of tips, stories, and suggestions, with people sharing how these daily acts of love have strengthened their relationships. Regular displays of affection can reduce stress, boost happiness, and even improve physical health by releasing oxytocin, the "love hormone." The thread highlighted a universal truth—it’s the little things that matter most. Here are 25 heartwarming responses to remind you of that.

1. Little gestures matter

"Please and thank you are huge! We do the kiss hello and goodbye and right before sleep each day, followed by an 'I love you' or 'Love ya.' I'll add the wink across the room when we're entertaining guests and end up in separate conversations. Just an acknowledgment of each other. Then, there are the full wordless conversations across the room that coordinate our food serving/cooking endeavors or a 'please get me out of this conversation' plea." - u/BeerWench13TheOrig1

2. Magic of wink

"A wink across the room. I love that so much. I have a four-year-old winker. I wink at her and she has to stop everything, pop her hip to the side and then she attempts to wink, usually like this." - u/Shoddy_Cause9389
 

3. Heartfelt gesture

"I had a bilateral mastectomy. During my recovery, my boyfriend, at the time said his favorite thing to do was wash my hair because it was the only time I smiled during that period. That relationship is long over (for good reason), but it's still one of the sweetest things ever said to me." -u/HermineSGeist

4. Daily appreciation

"At the end of every day, I try to think of a thing or two she's done for me or us that day and thank her for it. Just so she knows I'm not oblivious and don't take things for granted. For her part, she tells me she loves me at least once a year. Or maybe once every two years. It's way past 25 years together, so something is working. Add: To be honest, I probably tell her more often, but it's only because sometimes I look at her and I can't breathe and it just comes out. So, I'm not sure if I should get credit for that as something I intended to do." - u/Own-Animator-7526

5. Everyday manners

"Like another person said, manners. 'Please,' 'thank you' for all that. Hugs a couple of times a day. I touch her when I walk past. Usually shoulder or back. A few years ago, I started a blog listing the reasons I love my wife and I'm up to... Umm... I can't remember... Reason 1,270, I think. I don't add to it every day, but try to get it once a week or so. She has it booked marked and checks for updates all the time." - u/Impressive-Shame-525

6. Dividing the chores

"Following my parent's lead. My day isn't done until he is. I hate folding laundry and he hates cleaning the kitchen. So, I clean the kitchen and he folds the laundry. At the end of the day, if he's sitting there folding laundry, I join him. My day isn't done until he is. And if I'm still cleaning the kitchen, he joins me and helps me. His day isn't done until mine is. Never have to ask for help. It doesn't matter the task, we just help each other. It warms my heart." - u/designgoddess

7. Quiet care

"I replace things she loves and uses regularly so she doesn't have to think about it. An example is placing a new box of cookies in the freezer, opening it up and putting it exactly where she likes to keep them without saying a word. It's a tiny gesture, but it removes friction and is one less thing for her to think about." - u/MintOctopus

8. Lots of love

"We fall asleep holding hands most nights. Lots of hugs. Laugh at each other's jokes. We pat each other's bums. 35 years together so far."  -u/NomadicallySedentary

9. Small surprises

"Aside from the usual things like hugs, kisses, etc. I try to do different things to help her. If she's gone for the day, I'll surprise her with dinner or have her flower bed weeded, bring her home her favorite wine or some other small gesture." -u/Piss-Off-Fool

10. Doing chores together

"Married for nearly 35 years. We spend the vast majority of our time together. We cook for each other and share many household chores. Run errands playfully together. Chase each other in the supermarket. Laugh a lot. Hang out together. Talk a lot. Make out. Cuddle. Get high. Netflix and chill. We stay young together." - u/Socks4Goths
 

11. Daily acts of love

"Married for 44 years. Every morning, we wake up with a kiss and every night, we say goodnight with some. We say I love you all the time. We put out fresh towels for the other before a shower. I kill spiders that gross him out. He comes to all of my doctor's appointments. He's been 100% on my side regarding an estrangement with my sibling, who I know he loves very much. Every single night, he thanked me for making dinner. We hold hands sometimes when we watch TV. I keep my hair longer than I like because he loves it. There are just so many daily examples of love in my house. I got a good one." -u/slenderella148
 

12. Being a source of support 

"We say 'please' and 'thank you' when we ask the other to do something. We do little things for each other. We say 'I love you' dozens of times a day, and it's never 'love ya' because we waited so long to say it while we were dating and never wanted it to just become punctuation. We support and encourage each other. We accept certain foibles in each other as the 'price of admission' in being together (and if you've never watched that video, do, because it is some A+ relationship advice). We listen to each other. We never put each other down, even if we're upset or frustrated." -u/ktkatq

13. A cup of coffee goes a long way

"I have been married for 26 years. 6 kids. Every day, since day one, he would put a cup of coffee next to my bed. He is a godsend and I am glad he picked me. I believe I must be kind and thankful… because there are easily 100 women who would gladly take my place. I am so blessed and I tell him every day." -u/cowPoke1822
 

14. Supportive partner

"Love by providing moments of rest or ease. They say a woman's work is never done, but I think that if she has a supportive partner, sometimes that isn't true. So, any chance to take an extra task off her list, I'll take it. I do 85% of the laundry (she is right that I don't fold the clothes after fast enough, but everyone in my household is dressed in clean clothing so...) and I do all the dishes and all the sweeping (though she is the mopper, I can't mop without making a mess so it's a team effort). I also am always down to watch the kids so she can be social and while my social life is less robust than it was before and she sometimes takes advantage of that and even owns that, I am happy to give it to her." -u/Imaginary_Office7660

15. Gentle communication

"We are kind and generous to each other with our words and actions. I have NEVER yelled at or called my husband any name at all, as with him. I don't care what anyone says…once those words come out, you can't ever take them back, no matter how many times you say I'm sorry. You said it, so you meant it. Period." -u/CinCeeMee

16. Marry your bestfriend

"My husband (62M) and I (57F) have been married for 35 years. We text each other daily during his breaks at work. We help each other out with the household chores. We hold hands when we are walking. We talk about our days. We always hug and kiss in the morning when he goes to work and in the evening when he comes home (I work from home). We cuddle on the couch. We genuinely listen to what the other has to say. I married my best friend." -u/countrywitch1966

17. Love beyond time

"My wife put love notes in my lunch bag. I’d buy tiny stuffed animals and put them on the passenger seat of her car. I now leave them on her headstone." -u/MatchPoint5
 

18. Small acts, big love

"A simple kiss good morning and daily conversation over coffee. We say 'looks good, great dinner.' Open the door, an unexpected hug and an 'I love/proud of you' and occasional flowers." -u/Retired_For_Life

19. Love in passing

"41 years. I give her a quick kiss every couple of hours, even if just passing in the hall. I tell her she looks terrific when she has done her makeup, etc., even when she isn't going anywhere. I tell her I love her at least every day. I could be in the living room watching sports. She'll be in the bedroom watching her shows and we text each other little notes." -u/YorkshieBoyUS

20. Cherished memories

"I still open the door for her. We always walk holding hands. I make her laugh every day. I still give her nicknames. Recently, I put Googlie eyes on everything in the fridge. I put 100 Post-it notes on every flat surface I could find in the house, with I love you poems on each one. We married late, so 2 weeks before our 34th anniversary, she passed. She still makes me laugh as well as cry. Hold them tight or someone else will." -u/johndotold

21. Shared love language

"We have nicknames, silly games we made up, randomly touch each other. It takes us an hour to watch a 30 minute show because we pause and talk about something. My love language is food. His love language is gifts. He says spoiled is just another word for loved. 18 years and counting." -u/purplechunkymonkey

22. Take care of each other

"Gosh, there are so many. We walk together every morning and almost every evening. We touch each other affectionately virtually every time we pass in the house. We take care of each others needs. We aren't on our phones when we're walking together or talking. We compliment each other. We hold hands. We are respectful when we argue over things. If you're looking for big stuff like buying jewelry or stuff like that, we don't really do that stuff. But we show each other affection is so many little ways that I couldn't possible list them all here." - u/musing_codger

23. Lots of 'I love you's'

"Married for 23 years. Together for 28. Our text histories are full of 'I love you's' and the like. We kiss many times a day, be it a peck goodbye or a full-on smooch, and say I love you at least 5X a week. He works from home and forgets to eat, so I make him lunch most days. He tells me I'm beautiful quite often and we thank each other regularly for every little thing contribute to my home of work. Hasn't always been wonderful and we go through phases of taking each other for granted but snap out of it eventually. I really want to soak in these healthy years before things go downhill." -u/HarpyCelaeno

24. Doing hugs

"We have 'doing hugs.' My wife coined the phrase when I was too busy with some chore to do my traditional greeting when she came in from work one day (I work at home). 'It's okay handling that laundry is a 'doing hug!' Doing hugs is anything you know will make your partner happy. Since I work from home and I do a LOT of con calls, I can make sure the kitchen is cleaner at 5 pm than it was when she left at 7:30. Before we changed energy plans to an '8 pm to 6 am is free' plan, I also made a point of doing a load of laundry most days, because that meant we didn't have to do it when she got home. It takes no real effort. You just have to remember to DO it." -u/ubermonkey

25. Saving the best for the last

"My Mom and Dad were married for 73 years when she died. He ALWAYS patted her on the butt when he had the chance. She said one time 'You've been grabbing my ass for 72 years, are you ever going to stop?' He said, 'Why would I stop now???' She said, 'Good!,' gave him a big kiss, and laughed. The grandkids, who are all adults, always said that was relationship goals. They were so cute together." -u/DensHag