People aged 25 years and older share 10 difficult life lessons they have learned over time

Crucial life lessons at 25 years of age

Life is a teacher that teaches us vital lessons at all ages. Each of these lessons tends to be quite different and based on the challenges that we face at the time, we grasp reality better. Some of these things can be quite harsh and drastically change our perception of life. But it can also be incredibly beneficial and help us tackle challenges in the long run. u/lolanojhola asked the community, "People who are 25 years and above, what's the harshest life lesson you've learned?" Here are 10 of the most interesting answers that people had to offer. 

1. One-sided love 

You can't make someone love you by giving them more of what they already don't appreciate. Still chewing on this one. - u/UnfitDiscord. I saw somewhere recently that when you see someone's "potential," it's really just seeing what you would do if you were them. - u/vibrating0ranges. This one hits home. My partner of five years told me I should "Find someone who doesn't feel so meh about the relationship." Five. Years. So callous and hurtful, but in retrospect, he showed me how little he appreciated me despite how much I loved him. I guess 2024 is the year to take this lesson to heart. - u/mathematical_gal

2. Paper trail when confronting an employer 

If your employer is doing something illegal or unethical and you decide to confront them about it, for f**** sake, do it in a way that all communication will leave a paper trail. - u/ElToberino. I remember needing to do this. I mailed a thing to District X when it should have gone to District Y. Why? Because the guy in charge of their entire region said to. They were his people, so I assumed he knew what he was talking about. A secretary was very bothered I did this and went to everyone's boss to stir s*** up. I had the email backing me up. Unless you're saying, I can't take the guy you put in charge at his word, they had to get off my a**. - u/UnihornWhale

3. You have to save yourself 

No one is going to save you. You have to save yourself. - u/thebaddestgoodperson. And there's only so much effort you can put into other people before you have to start being a bit selfish and protect yourself. Just this year: I took care of my dad for years and he stole money from me. I helped my ex through a tough spot in her life at the expense of my own mental health. She always told me how supportive she told her therapist and friends I was, then broke up with me for not being emotionally supportive enough. I felt like I was being a jerk, but I felt underpaid and leveraged a counteroffer to my employer and it actually worked and I got a large raise. This has not been a good year for me in my outlook on loyalty. - u/BestTryInTryingTimes

4. How quickly things can change

S*** can go south in a literal heartbeat. - u/Far_Statement_2808. Yup. Went to work today. For the second time ever at this job, came home for lunch instead of eating at work or getting fast food. Get home. Found my mom (a stroke victim) covered in blood. She fell and hit her head. Just like that, the rest of my day was spent at the emergency room. Thank god she's alright, seven staples later. But you literally have ZERO idea what you're walking into from one moment to the next. F****** life man. - u/UserNameTaken1998

5. Doing it right doesn't mean it's going to work 

You can do everything right and still fail. - u/Spire-hawk. Picard gets it. I was thrown out as a teen and spent 2 years homeless. Horrendously abusive childhood and absolutely no help. I still dragged myself up, put myself through law school, sorted my housing and did my best to be a good person. Now, I'm in a dying relationship, too old/lacking in support to have children (realistically) and still work in the dead-end job I had to help through law school. Sometimes you can work your a** off, give it your all and it still doesn't work out for you. - u/Rosington2010

6. Health is valuable 

Your health can evaporate quickly. - u/unurbane. The Epstein-Barr virus did a number on me. I got it at 27 and now, five years later, I still have issues with chronic pain, chronic runny nose, weird fever-like symptoms almost daily, fatigue and muscle weakness. It will most likely be lifelong issues as well so that's fun. Viruses are no joke. - u/Mizrani. Exactly. Or it can turn out that all of the things you thought were just random stuff are actually symptoms of a medical condition you've always had. In my case, it turns out that subluxations aren't normal. Who knew? Not me until I was in my 20s. - u/AlmostChristmasNow

7. Loved ones can be lost anytime 

That life can take a loved one at any time, so cherish those you love, make time for family and friends and tell people you love them often. - u/CheddarCheeseCheetah. I came here to post something similar. One day, about six weeks ago, my mom was taken to the hospital just as I had a call to say my partner's brother had passed away. Later that day, I was told my mom wouldn't make it and she passed away three days later. I'm so glad I got to tell her I loved her one last time. Life can be horrible for no reason. - u/Sgreaat

8. Don't lie to your partner 

Do not lie to your significant other. Have hard conversations and trust them enough to be able to have them with you. Give them the chance and don't be afraid/avoid doing it it in fear of rejection or judgement. I learned that the hard way, unfortunately. Communication is a tough thing. You can be a great communicator in many ways but have one aspect of it you're horrible at and that can be devastating to a relationship. It could be applied over there, lol. - u/Ginoblee

9. Friendships require effort 

Your friends from high school or college will disappear if you don't make the effort to stay in touch. - u/h0rny3dging. People in general. I'm 38 and in different parts of my life, I had friends and family alive that are no longer alive. You feel almost lonely when people who have made up certain memories are no longer there for y'all to retell it. You also just have life slowly separate people from you. Then you go through changes where some people just take different paths and you don't even recognize who they are anymore. You also cherish those moments that you get that make you feel young and alive again or have people come back into your life and you didn't realize how much you missed them. - u/Dependent-Garlic-291

10. Learning about consequences 

By the time you hit 30, all the small things you've gotten away with that everyone bugged you about start catching up to you. Bad posture welcomes back and neck pain. Smoking welcomes a strong cough. Never stretch welcomes tightness. A bad diet welcomes various health issues. You always feel invincible when you're young. 30s, where you realize you were wrong. - u/riphitter. Add laziness to the list. If you spend most of your teens and 20s coasting on natural talent or just being disengaged, it's gonna be very hard to change that habit when you're 30 and want things to change. - u/tsh87