People advice man asking if he should stay in an unhappy marriage just for his kids

A lot of times, people get married without anticipating the possibility of how things work out in the long run. However, they are already so deep into the relationship that backing out seems no longer an option. And that is mostly the case because by the time one realizes that they are not happy or compatible with their partner, they already have kids whom they don't wish to hurt. Sharing a similar dilemma, u/WindThrownCaution seeks advice on Reddit on whether he should pull the trigger on his marriage.

A 44-year-old married man is miserable in his marriage. He mentions that were it not for his kids who are younger than ten years, he would have left already. Talking about how his wife treats him, he says, "She gives me no affection, constantly nags me, spends way too much money and yells at me over the stupidest shit." He further added that he barely had any time to pursue his interests in any capacity whatsoever. While he does not see any reason for him to stay in this marriage, he also mentions how he can not seem to let go either, for his kids, who are under ten years of age.

Comments started pouring in as he asked people how to deal with such a situation. As anyone would, u/BobbyThrowaway6969 asked the husband the obvious question - what happens when he tries to bring this up with his wife? To that user replied, "She's largely unreceptive. She's (by a small amount) the primary breadwinner in the household and feels that entitles her to dictate our time. I catch flack any time I want to do something that's just me, even stuff like exercising. It's stifling. I feel like I've got zero identity." 

Hearing this, a few other people spoke about being the breadwinner and having the power to decide are completely different. u/jedi-son said, "As the primary breadwinner in our household by a margin of 400% that's not how it works." u/GallonsOfGlitter replied, "Lol. I make 0% of the money and I still have 50% of the decision-making power!"

u/twichy1983 suggested a solution by giving their personal story. They said, "My wife hasn't worked in 11 years. We're equals in the relationship. Go to couples therapy until things are better. Switch therapists if need be. Go to individual therapists too. Read 'Boundaries: When to say yes, how to say no,' and 'Boundaries in Marriage.' If that doesn't work, then pull the cord." u/HallOfTheMountainCop seconded that opinion and said, "I think before you go down the route of divorce, you should insist on couple's therapy. Your mental well-being is as important as hers is and is extremely important to your children."

u/bostosd said, "Sorry you have to deal with this, but it sounds like you need to pull the trigger and get out. Easier said than down for us to say, but you want out and you're looking for confirmation. Consider it confirmed." u/Wollers-eye said, "Speaking from experience, your kids might be happier if they don't have to live with two unhappy parents. Don't let them grow up thinking that's normal."