Pastor explains why couples need to stop feeling responsible for their parents' wants after marriage

Parents might have certain expectations from their children even when they turn into adults. They might expect their child to listen to them and do things as per their wishes long after they have moved out. Some people might do these things as well, out of love, to keep their parents happy, or for other reasons. However, a pastor believes that a married person shouldn't function according to their parents' wishes and he has a very specific reason for that. The pastor from Seacoast Chruch (@seacoastchurch on TikTok) shared the message on the platform.

"The moment you say 'I do,' you have no more responsibility between you and your parents. The Bible says, when you get married, leave, cleave, become one," the pastor began. "Leave who? Mother and father. Wait a minute, did you say none? I said zero," the man clarified once again. "'Oh, but my mom wants me to come home for the holidays.' I don’t care what she wants. You’re not responsible for meeting her wants." When people asked him what they were to do if the mom got angry in this scenario, he replied: "You are not responsible for her anger. Where's her anger? It's in her circle."

"Can you choose to go home?" the pastor proposed. "Absolutely. But if you make her responsible for your choices, what are you giving her? Authority and power to control you," he continued. The caption read, "You can't become one with your spouse if you are giving someone else the power and authority to control you." People took to the comments section to state their opinions on the topic. @lucrock8 wrote, "This is disingenuous. Commandment #5 comes to mind and Mark 7:7-13. Set your boundaries, but you still have a responsibility to your parents. His words are rooted in a Westernized worldview of family."

In another similar story, a woman explained why men not expressing their emotions in a marriage can lead to big challenges in the relationship. The person, Katie Hanlon, who goes by @thekatiehanlon on TikTok, shared that men have something called "normative male alexithymia," an inability to express their emotions. Hanlon shared how this inability isn't something that goes away on its own and gets passed to the female partner in the relationship as well. While some partners can get through it, in other relationships, women might experience emotional distress due to normative male alexithymia. It suppresses a man's ability to truly connect in a relationship and to express themselves as per the woman.

Hanlon strongly believes that men should make addressing this concern a priority for a thriving relationship. She believes that addressing their emotional needs is at the core of solving most other problems in a relationship. "I know for a fact that there are wives all around the world who cry themselves to sleep," the woman expressed. The concern with men not being able to show their vulnerability also stems from society's expectations that young boys have to fulfill, leaving that gap in their lives. People in the comments section of the video agreed with the thought.

You can follow Sea Coast Church (@seacoastchurch) on TikTok for more spiritual content.