Gain insight into the empowering perspective of a parent as they discuss the importance of saying 'no' to kids, fostering growth and trust.
Parenting is undoubtedly a challenging task. It can be rewarding if done correctly and disastrous otherwise. One of the many challenges of parenting is embracing the significance of saying "no" to children instead of lying to them or giving in to their requests every time. Being able to do so sheds light on honesty's vital role in effective parenting by being transparent and its role in a child's development and overall well-being. A Reddit user, u/journey_to_myself, shared an incident highlighting the importance of honest parenting and how it is better in the long run in terms of building trust.
The story begins with the author describing a coin-operated merry-go-round ride at their local grocery store. The author's kids saved up change for the ride and used them on the ride just as they were exiting the grocery store. They then noticed a small boy in a cart, exclaiming, "Mommy, Mommy! It's working!!! It's not broken!!! It can be my turn next." The boy's mother replied that it was the last ride of the day.
The mother's reply left the boy devastated. "The young teen who was with them rolled his eyes and went back on his phone. I saw the face of the kid. He looked at his mom just heartbroken and he looked at my kids with such anger and venom. We filled the ride or I'd have offered him a seat," u/journey_to_myself wrote.
Witnessing these events, the author's daughter became unsettled. She questioned why the little boy believed his mother when she said the ride was broken. The Reddit user explained to their daughter that the boy's mother had chosen to lie instead of saying no. Perhaps she was short on funds or pressed for time, but she opted to lie rather than be honest. They concluded the original post by saying that while it is easier to lie and get out of tricky parenting situations, choosing to do so has long-term consequences as kids do notice such lies. While it is hard to say no, the author insists it is a necessary evil and a better parenting practice.
This incident highlights the impact of such falsehoods on children. They notice and absorb these lies, leaving a lasting impression on them. It serves as a reminder that, as parents, it is crucial to prioritize truthfulness and consider the long-term consequences of our actions on our children's trust and perception of the world. In an edit to the original post, the author highlights that despite lying to the boy, he is still unhappy. If the mother had told the boy the truth, he would have reacted similarly. These accumulated lies over time erode the foundation of trust, leading to children questioning and doubting their parents. It reinforces the narrative for parents to prioritize truthfulness consistently, recognizing the long-term consequences and fostering a bond of trust with their children.
People in the comment section had a lot to say about the incident. u/artichoke313 shared invaluable advice, writing: "I used to do that, but then I got a concern. If I tell my little kids we aren't buying something because we don't have the money, then that implies that one day, when they do have disposable income of their own, they should use it on all the things they want on a whim. So I've changed it to 'we aren't going to spend our money on that today.' In a small way, I hope it teaches them discretion in their choices as consumers and the value of saving. (I'm also the mom who will let them ride the rides occasionally if we have time - I want to teach them balance too.)"