Parents ditch adult daughter to celebrate 40th-anniversary vacation, asks if he made a mistake

A wedding anniversary is often celebrated as a time for couples to cherish their journey together. However, for one couple, their plans for a romantic getaway were unexpectedly derailed when their daughter decided to tag along with her family. U/Flat-Blueberry-4469, a father and husband, shared how he and his wife had been eagerly planning a vacation to honor their 40th anniversary. “We had it all planned out for years and were excited beyond words,” he wrote. However, their daughter, Jane, and her husband invited themselves and their two kids on vacation.

Initially, the father resisted the idea. “I originally put my foot down and told them this trip was just for us, which upset her somewhat,” he wrote. However, his wife, reluctant to hurt their only daughter’s feelings, eventually agreed to let them join. The couple not only scrapped their original destination, which wasn’t suitable for children but also opted for a family-friendly resort to accommodate Jane’s family. Adding to the frustration, they covered the costs of their grandchildren’s plane tickets and the resort stay, leaving Jane and her husband to pay only for their airfare.

As the vacation date approached, the father started to feel uneasy about how their milestone celebration had been overshadowed. “I realized that our 40th anniversary was a once-in-a-lifetime milestone, and I wanted to honor it in a way that was true to our original plans,” he wrote. Acting on this realization, he made a bold decision. He secretly switched their tickets back to the romantic destination they had originally planned for. “I did not tell Jane or her husband. I didn't even tell my wife until the day before our flight left, which was a day before Jane's flight left for their vacation,” he admitted. His wife, though initially shocked, supported his choice. Jane and her family, however, were blindsided when they found out that the couple had already landed at their destination.

“She seemed to be under the impression that we were going to look after our grandkids so she and her husband could have alone time,” the father wrote. When he called to inform her of the change, Jane was furious. Her husband even began shouting at him over the phone, accusing him of abandoning them.

“I hung up on them and focused on enjoying the vacation with my wife,” he added. Jane has since refused to speak to her parents, ignoring their messages, even after they returned from their respective trips. While the father was unapologetic about prioritizing their anniversary, his wife remained conflicted and wanted him to apologize. "I'm not sure I want to after learning Jane and her husband were using us for free babysitting and a free trip, but I feel like I should, just to keep the peace," he wrote.

People on the platform were quick to weigh in. "I don’t think that the daughter is even remotely capable of thinking about anyone but herself since she caught wind of the trip. She seems like one of those people who thinks that her own sh** never stinks and always plays the victim," u/jasperjamboree commented.

u/conmeohaman added, "Jane basically tried to sabotage your anniversary. You guys have spoiled her rotten by succumbing to all her requests. Just ignore her and I bet she'll pop up at your house when she needs a free babysitter."

Some, however, took issue with the father’s approach and argued. u/ladysaraii said, “Yes, your kid sticks for obvious reasons. But dear lord, just say no! The last-minute switching was what made you bad. That's so childish. Just say no up front!"