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Parenting coach says Gen X has 'messed up parenting' by overcompensating, sparking debate

Gen Xers try way too hard to become the perfect parents they never had, opines the parenting coach.

Parenting coach says Gen X has 'messed up parenting' by overcompensating, sparking debate
Cover Image Source: TikTok | @kimmuenchparentcoach

Every generation has its own parenting style, but an expert is of the opinion that Gen X parents might have unintentionally "messed up" their kids big time. Kim Muench, a certified parenting coach, as well as a mom to 5 adults, shared her theory about how Gen X's parenting style might have ended up harming their kids more than doing good to them. Muench, who goes by @kimmuenchparentcoach on TikTok, expressed her concerns about the parenting approach of Gen Xers and sparked debate. 

Image Source: TikTok | @kimmuenchparentcoach
Image Source: TikTok | @kimmuenchparentcoach

She shared how these parents validated the emotions of their kids more than necessary and did not bother setting strict boundaries, opposing how their boomer parents of Gen X raised them. "In my opinion, we grew up with parents who didn't know that validating our feelings was important and didn't know how to do that because previous generations didn't care, either and as a result, when Gen X started having kids, we overcompensated," Muench said in her viral video, which has gained 285K views on the platform.

Muench mentioned how Gen X parents were always trying to give their kids what they did not get from their own parents, but they might have gone too far with providing their "emotional connection and validation" to their offspring. "We became too empathetic, to a place where we didn't set boundaries with our kids because we worried that it might have hurt their feelings or they might have an angry outburst," Muench revealed.

Image Source: TikTok | @kimmuenchparentcoach
Image Source: TikTok | @kimmuenchparentcoach

"We were uncomfortable with our kids' big feelings, therefore, we tiptoe around it to make sure that they don't have them. This has been a disservice to our kids," Muench claimed. "You can validate and see your kids for who they are, respect your kids for who they are, but not have to acquiesce and tiptoe around and not set boundaries with them. There has to be boundary setting." Muench said that this type of parenting requires some reworking.

"When it comes to parents of young adults, it's not setting boundaries around your young adults' behavior, it's setting personal boundaries for yourself," she reminded everyone. In a second video, Muench listed the reasons that caused Gen X mothers to worry about setting boundaries with their young adult children, such as fear of rejection, confrontation and fear of no longer being needed, to name a few.

Then, she explained how one can set effective personal boundaries with their children. "You need to be unemotional in your delivery," she quipped. "Know what actions you're willing to take if the boundary is broken. Be willing where you can to negotiate and expect gradual change. Setting boundaries is having the courage enough to love yourself and trust that the other person will rise to the challenge of meeting that boundary," she concluded.

Image Source: TikTok | @kimmuenchparentcoach
Image Source: TikTok | @kimmuenchparentcoach

While some agreed with Muench's words, many Gen Xers were of the opposite opinion. @mollysolvang wrote, "Older millennial here and I couldn't agree more! I had to really take a step back and realize that social media was destroying my happiness." @sfo195 commented, "I agree with you. Our uber-materialistic and individualistic society fosters competition, not community. It's the water we're swimming in."

Image Source: TikTok | @patriciatexan
Image Source: TikTok | @patriciatexan

@tinap120 contradicted Muench and commented, "I'm a Gen X mom, and that's not me. My kids had rules and boundaries and learned independence. They are thriving 28 & 30 year olds." @brig_n_mike added, "Gen X is getting a bad wrap. Not all of us treated our kids badly. I think people are reading too much into the description of the generation." @carolmueller shared: "I’m a Gen X Mom, I had my kids older, they are only 14 and 7. I find this more with millennial parents. Love my kids but they have rules and boundaries." @divadali23 chimed in: "Gen X mom here - that wasn't me, Both kids had rules, responsibilities and consequences of their actions - good and bad."

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A post shared by Kim Muench (@kimmuenchparentcoach)


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