Parenting coach explains why kids misbehave and shares the correct approach to rectify such behavior

In recent times, there has been a steady rise in discussions about the different parenting styles adopted by parents across the world. Many parenting coaches and experts routinely give their best advice to new parents in order to help them get used to the challenges of parenthood. But every single parent might have faced one common problem—trying to make their kids listen to their words and comply accordingly. Tia Slightham—who goes by @parentingcoach on TikTok—explains the real reason behind it and how parents can tackle this issue in a video that's struck a chord with many online.

"Do you want to know why your kids keep misbehaving even though you've told them 92 times to stop?" Slightham says at the beginning of the video. "Because it's working. Kids will only do and continue to do what works for them." Then she breaks down her statement and tells her viewers about how kids just want a reaction from their guardians and that they don't really care if the reaction they are getting is positive or negative.

"What I mean is, when they misbehave and you get mad, angry, yell, time-out or ground them, they get a giant dose of power and attention. It works for them. Kids don't care about getting positive or negative attention. They will take anything they can get," she continues. Then she suggests that parents should do a simple thing to stop this constant loop of dealing with unruly kids who refuse to follow what has been told to them by their elders.

"So to stop this cycle, we have to avoid using punishment tactics," Slightham adds. "Punishment causes blame, shame and pain, whereas discipline teaches, guides and supports. I want you to think about learning these skills to become a 'positive discipline' parent so your kids can start actually listening to you the first time you ask them," she concludes. The TikTok crowd responded to her video with some humorous as well as serious comments about how this advice may or may not work depending on where the kids are actually raised.

@islandadventuretci joked, "Just by mentioning my belt, they stopped." Slightham responded to this comment and wrote, "This is more authoritarian parenting, which is more of a fear-based overpowering style of parenting." @jigs381 commented, "In South Africa, we don't ask 92 times. We ask once and then hit 91 times." @caramella7777 agreed to it and quipped, "Depending on your location, might work in America and Europe, but we don't recommend kids doing this in Africa."

Slightham responded to many others in the comments who criticized that her tips won't really work to prepare kids for surviving in the real world. "It's actually the opposite. I have two amazing independent and responsible boys with amazing grades, respect and kind souls! You have to do it!" Slightham wrote in response to one comment. "Parenting isn't a quick fix! The why is the only way to fix the problem long term." 

According to Cureus, parenting style plays a major role in child development by influencing cognitive, social-emotional development, academic performance and behavioral problems. These characteristics are fairly stable right into adulthood.