She grew up with an 'overbearing' older sister until her 24th birthday revealed the quiet sacrifices she'd made

Sibling relationships can be confusing and tough to navigate, especially when they're love-hate. But at its core, the eldest siblings will always have a protective streak, even if they don't always show it. Preston Raskovsky (@prestonrack) interviews random strangers in NYC, asking them to share their view of love and explain it. In one such interview, a woman named Kayla (@kayla.ken) said, "Sacrifice is the ultimate love language," and Preston responded by asking what she meant by that statement. You can see the post here.

Kayla briefly shared how she and her sister have a 13-year age gap. She also recalled her older sibling's first question when their mother shared the news about her pregnancy. "'Can we put her up for adoption?'" Kayla's sister asked, to which her mother vehemently disagreed. 10 years later, Kayla's mother passed away. All of a sudden, all the responsibilities, including driving to doctor appointments, overseeing sleepovers, and more, fell on Kayla's sister. Despite the efforts, she admitted she was resentful because of how "overbearing" her sister was. It wasn't until three years ago that Kayla realized what her sister gave up for her. Right before her 24th birthday, Kayla was on a phonecall with her sister, discussing her travel plans for Japan and parties she planned to attend, when her sister said, "Wait... That's how old I was when mom passed." "My stomach dropped," Kayla said when it dawned on her that her sister had to make all the sacrifices to take care of her. 

Kayla started listing some of the things her sister had sacrificed when she was 24. She compared her life to her sister's life at the same age, "When I was going out to clubs with my friends, she was staying at home babysitting me. When I was spending my savings on a Japan trip, she was saving up to get me an iPod so I could fit in." Her view changed from "overbearing" to how her sister was forced to become a parent at 24, and never once did she complain or make Kayla feel like a "burden." "Not when she was packing my sleepover bags, not when she was saving up for my iPod," she added.

Kayla explained what she failed to see and understand at that young age. "I think that's exactly why I missed it because she never needed me to see it, and what I hadn't understood about sacrifice is... Sacrifice doesn't look like love while it's happening. You only learn it when you're old enough to look back and understand." She repeats her first statement above love being the ultimate love language because "it never needs you to know, it doesn't need a thank you, or an I love you, it just shows up, pack your bags, drives you to appointments, and never says a word about it."

According to a study on "Sibling Relations and Their Impact on Children’s Development," researchers found that "older sisters are more likely to engage in caretaking and helping roles than older brothers." Similar to Kayla's situation, her sister stepped up for her and took on the role of a caretaker when their mother passed away. In another study done by the Institute of Medicine (US) Committee, Kilman estimated that 1.5 million (5%) US children lose one or both of their parents before the age of 15, leaving them orphaned. Other experts suggest that the rates are higher among lower-income families.

The post is flooded with comments applauding the older sister for taking care of Kayla and stepping up when needed. @ameliaaneo compared Kayla's story to the Disney characters Lilo and Stitch. They wrote, "lilo and stitch core, nani was only 19." The comment section was also filled with older siblings who can relate. @arianagualpag commented, "And as older sisters we never expect you guys to know or come to that realization, we only did it out of love, so you don't experience life as hard as we did. We only wish the best for you and that you make the most of this life, in my case when my little sister recognized those sacrifices I felt a weird emotion, like a backpack getting lifted by my shoulders that I did not realize I was carrying all these years."

You can follow Preston Rakovsky (@prestonrack) on Instagram for more street interview videos. 

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