Chisom Job was fearful of his dad's reaction as he mulled coming out to his father, but his dad surprised him.
Editor's Note: This article was originally published on February 8, 2022
Being accepted by your parents after coming out to them can mean everything to a gay person. It's important to have support from friends and family. According to the CDC, rejection by important people in a gay person's life can have a negative influence on their well-being, especially during their formative years. "A positive family environment, with high levels of parental support and low levels of conflict" helps them experience healthy emotional adjustment. Chisom Job couldn't have asked for a better response from his father. Job was fearful about how his father would react to him coming out, but his dad surprised him.
Job shared the news on Twitter and it's just as wholesome as you can imagine. It started with his dad asking why he wasn't religious. "Had a conversation with my dad about the church, and he asked me why I am irreligious," wrote Job, before adding that he wanted to send his dad an article he had written, but it would mean coming out to his father and he felt like he wasn't ready. As Job hesitated, his father urged him to speak out. "Tell me whatever it is, no matter what. I'll still love you," he told Job, who thought to himself "If only it was easy."
i came out to my dad a while ago, and right now, i think I'll cry. i mean, it just happened. one minute, we talked about religion, and the next, i told him how I wanted to say something but was scared he wouldn't love me anymore. however, he reassured me.— Chisom Peter Job. (@peterjob_) February 6, 2022
Encouraged by his dad, Job opened up. "I can't believe I'm crying hot boy tears talking to my man," he wrote, before adding, "I did it." He shared the conversation on Twitter and his dad's reaction is heartwarming. "I came out to my dad a while ago, and right now, I think I'll cry. I mean, it just happened. one minute, we talked about religion, and the next, I told him how I wanted to say something but was scared he wouldn't love me anymore. however, he reassured me," he wrote.
like my mom, he told me he knew and was waiting for me to tell him when I was ready. "i'm glad you are telling me now, and nothing will stop me from loving you," he said. And at that moment, i wished i could hug him from the phone. but I did tell him how much I loved him,— Chisom Peter Job. (@peterjob_) February 6, 2022
For Job, it was a huge weight off his shoulders. "He listened to me as I told him why I always say I'll not get married. How I have felt since I knew, and how I thought him knowing would change everything between us. Then, he coughed and said, 'I have always known,'" wrote Job. "Like my mom, he told me he knew and was waiting for me to tell him when I was ready. 'I'm glad you are telling me now, and nothing will stop me from loving you,' he said. And at that moment, I wished I could hug him from the phone. but I did tell him how much I loved him," wrote Job. "He told me how much he loved me too. 'Nothing will change that, and I'll always be proud of you.'" Job said he felt blessed. "Today, I am reminded of how lucky I am with the parents I have, of how they'll always love me. Pa said, 'be who you are,' and I'll always keep this in mind."
While Job shared his coming-out story, his DMs were inundated with hateful homophobic messages. "I have had men in my message requests and Instagram comment section telling me how my Dad will hit me when he comes home, hurt me, or how he doesn't love me," he shared, highlighting how rampant homophobia is. It takes a lot of courage to come out as gay, especially when they fear persecution from their parents or other loved ones. Especially in the case of adolescents, it's important to have that support to lead happy fulfilled lives. “Time and time again, we hear the same thing from patients: ‘Once my parents are behind me, I can handle anything else the world throws at me,’” explained Dr. Errol Fields, a Johns Hopkins pediatrician. “You’re their anchor, and your acceptance is key. In fact, research shows that LGBTQ adolescents who are supported by their families grow up to be happier and healthier adults.” Another Johns Hopkins pediatrician, Dr. Renata Sanders, added, “There's no right or wrong way to express love. Just be present and be open.”
This is so wholesome and beautiful. Unconditional love and support from parents of queer kids is so important.— Michael Umahi-Briggs (@UmahiBriggs) February 6, 2022
If you're gay and are being subjected to abuse, or need any help, please contact LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564.