New mom feels blindsided as her partner plans birthday trip only with his mother

When the relationship between a partner and their parents falls apart, it can throw everything into chaos. Often caught between conflicting loyalties, people are left to deal with guilt and emotional strain. While communication and unbiased advice can mend broken ties, what happens when the one person who could fix the situation ends up making it worse? @hannahxlouise shared a similar story on Mumsnet, highlighting how quickly things can go out of control. The woman often felt blindsided by her partner as his mother became "intrusive" after their child's birth. Things further escalated when she discovered her partner had planned for a holiday—but just with his mother.

The new mom opened up about the drastic shift in dynamics with her partner's family. She revealed her pregnancy was unplanned, and neither her partner nor his family were initially happy. However, once the baby arrived, everything changed. Before conceiving, the woman saw his family only once every few months. But after giving birth, his mother started showing up multiple times a week, leaving the new mom feeling overwhelmed. "There have also been many hurtful and nasty comments made to me and I feel my newborn bubble was ruined with stress caused by his mother and my partner not wanting to fall out with his mum, so he told me constantly I had to deal with things and not to disappoint his family," she added. 

Frustrated by the constant taunts, the woman set some boundaries like no late-night visits, no kissing the baby during flu season and no hurtful comments. Yet, she felt even more trapped as her partner remained emotionally unavailable to her and their child. "It feels like I'm not in a relationship with my partner, but with his mom too," she shared. "Anytime she calls up angry or crying that things haven't gone her way or that she feels out of control, my partner runs after her and will leave me for half the day and the whole evening." While the woman understood the mother-son bond, she was unhappy with her partner's behavior. 

The underlying tension and awkwardness lingered until the woman made a sweet gesture, hoping to improve things. Little did she know, it would only leave her more disappointed. When the woman mentioned a birthday present for her partner's mother, he revealed he had planned a holiday for his mom. At first, the woman thought it was sweet that he would take both his parents for the trip, but soon felt hurt when she realized it was only his mother going.

"He doesn't take me on holidays that I don't contribute half to and is very tight with money, so I was stunned he would do that. I also feel that he feels super guilty that his mum isn't happy about boundaries and I am made to feel that it's my fault that a few fallouts have happened when they have been about nasty comments being made he also goes for dinner himself with her. I just find it a bit strange," the woman added. 

The post received an overwhelming response, with several people trolling the partner for being unreasonable. @pikkumyy77 wrote, "Jesus! He is not your partner, just an accidental sperm donor. Kick him out! And look for a whole man. This one is undercooked and still in his mother's oven." Similarly, @tamuchly wrote, "You and your baby deserve so much better than this! You are effectively a single parent now so you might as well make it official. I would be mortified if one of my sons treated the mother of their child this way, definitely not reasonable behavior by them at all." @thesandgroper commented, "You're a single parent. It's time you started living like it."