With sex education still taking a backseat in schools, kids rely on their peers, social media, and sexually explicit content on the internet for information on STDs, pregnancies, and the workings of the human body.
It constantly baffles me that even in this day and age, many school districts across the United States leave much to be desired when it comes to sex ed. Conservative states still pass off ineffective, prehistoric, unethical "abstinence-only" programs as all the sex education kids need, and very few support a comprehensive sex-ed curriculum. And let's not even get into the need for consent education as by the looks of it, it's going to take another decade or two before that becomes a reality. Ultimately, kids end up relying on their peers, social media, and sexually explicit content on the internet for information on STDs, pregnancies, and the workings of the human body.
Safe to say, this isn't exactly the most effective means of learning a subject as complex as this. The result? People end up believing some of the most absurd and ridiculous things about human anatomy for the longest time until the truth finally liberates them. Professor Julie Mannell, for one, can vouch for this fact. She took to Twitter to share a rather hilarious story about how she was convinced she was pregnant with a half-human half-canine baby when her first period ended. I thought women had their periods forever. When my first period stopped I assumed the neighbors' dog impregnated me when I pet him. For a month I believed myself to be carrying a half-human half-dog baby. This story is brought to you by Ontario Catholic School Sex Ed in the 90s, Mannell tweeted.
I feel like it is worth noting that I grew up in the same town as @samoosterhoff the 20-year-old mpp who was just named parliamentary assistant to the Minister of Education. He was homeschooled & has 1/2 a semester @ Brock U. He ran on an anti sex education/pro life platform.— Julie Mannell (@JulieMannell) July 14, 2018
Mannell's tweet quickly went viral with several men and women sharing their own share of absurd things they believed about the human body. Here are some of our favorite ones:
I was never told what a period was so when I got mine for the first time I was convinced I was dying, accepted that fact and wrote a will to give to my mum after school.— ✿ alaura ✿ (@lorylorybobory) July 14, 2018
I also went to Catholic school in Ontario! My teacher showed us a graphic video of a woman dying a horrific death while delivering a baby because she had sex before marriage. I had nightmares about it. I was terrified of the concept of dating for years.— 🌸 Kiki 🌸 (@yukikionline) July 14, 2018
When I, a 13-yr old atheist virgin, first missed a period, I thought I had been impregnated by God and was about to give birth to the Second Coming of Christ as a punishment for not believing in Him.— Jen Jones (@jenjonesQTRaven) July 13, 2018
I used to think that blood came out of the urethra and only when we were urinating. I didn't even know what pads and tampons were until I actually got my period.— purebred dumbass (@RhubarbRaptor) July 13, 2018
I heard enough mentions of periods to know that it was something you'd be scared of getting around the time you were 12, and that it could make "blood come out of you." For years I thought it was another word for a measles booster shot.— Erika Hammerschmidt (@earthtoerika) July 13, 2018
1 of my (boy) cousins went thru sex ed recently and asked me afterwards if STI’s were “created” because two dirty (unhygienic) people had sex — because our local HS still shows GRAPHIC imagery of warts/lesions/STI’s in full bloom, with 0 context pic.twitter.com/mtJziauaWd— Bee (@xistentialqueer) July 14, 2018
Another 90s Ontario Catholic school success story: I firmly believed my labia were my ovaries falling out of my body. Induced total panic, but was also too ashamed to approach anyone for help. All I recall from the education was that Tampax sponsored it and butterflies dominated.— katie b (@iamkatiebonnar) July 14, 2018
My health teacher told us “once you get your period, it doesn’t stop until you’re 50” so when I got mine I cried to my mom bc I thought I wasn’t gonna stop bleeding until I was 50.— Choke Sex Enthusiast (@louloubear131) July 14, 2018
When mine started I thought I was dying, & told my mom that. She said 'now you can have babies'. Spent couple of years wondering when that would spontaneously happen. Courtesy of Philly Catholic School Sex Ed in the -- well, a few years ago.— kcvinalpena (@kcvinalpena) July 14, 2018
My Mum thought if a shadow of a man passed over her belly, that was it. Courtesy her Mum, 1955. She dodged male shadows for years.— docrose (@wildmother2) July 13, 2018
In 2004 my friend was 16 when she gave birth to twins. When she was 23 I had to explain to her that pee does not come out of vaginas; she was worried because she didn’t have enough tampons at work for her bathroom breaks.— Jessica Lucci, steampunk author (@Jessica__Lucci) July 14, 2018
On the flip side, my college roomie had a friend who after her first period said "oh thank God that's over for good" #IWISH— Andrea Ayers (@demoriele) July 14, 2018
When I was 9 Mum asked me how I thought a baby was made, "when the lady and man get married and kiss, the kiss travels down into her belly and makes a baby". Still better than her concept as a teen, that the man sprinkled fertilizer on the woman's stomach.— Julia (@Julaberry) July 14, 2018
I got told all the info from a family friend when I was about 9 or 10. I was terrified for years that each month I'd be laying a chicken-style egg. 😐— 𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕣𝕘𝕙 (@r_nd_rgh) July 14, 2018
When I was younger, I thought some girls got “picked” to be pregnant when they turned 16. I used to lay in bed at night and say over and over. Please don’t let me be one of them. Please don’t let me be one of them. 😳. True story.— Darlene Lennox 🇨🇦 (@enelradcasey) July 14, 2018
I thought boys couldn’t control themselves so girls shouldn’t tempt them.— pug mom (@itskepes) July 14, 2018
I thought that boys were allowed to grab you and hug or kiss you when you didn’t like it.
I thought nice girls didn’t complain or say no.
I grew up in Saudi Arabia. Up until my teens I thought pregnancy was a magical thing that god randomly decides for you when you get married. When people on TV would talk about having kids, I was so confused about how they could voluntarily get pregnant without god’s permission.— Autumn Green (@_Autumn_Green_) July 14, 2018
For a very long time, my three older brothers all thought that girls peed out of their butts. I didnt have a Weiner where else would the pee come from? 😓😭😂— ☁️Cloudy☁️ (@PartlyCloudyS) July 14, 2018
After I had my first period at St Simon the Apostle, I didn’t get my second one for two months (becuase hormones). While I was 12 and crying thinking I was pregnant my two bffs were arguing about who was gonna be the god mother.— Madison (@MadisonLandis_) July 14, 2018
Based on an illustration in a book about reproduction, I thought for a couple years that in sex the partner on top was, of necessity, a man, regardless of their gender identity or body parts.— Oriboros (@oriboros) July 13, 2018
I also believed you only got your period once and then it was done. I was so traumatized when I got my second one. I thought I was dying. Flash forward a decade that’s probably why I’m on continuous birth control and haven’t had a period in 7 years 🤷🏻♀️— Riley-Roy Stallings (@RileyRoyHere) July 14, 2018
Went to visit my grandma and slept on a cot. My male cousin had slept on the cot before that. I just knew that he had left some sperm wiggling in that cot and I’d get pregnant. So I slept with my legs glued together trying to think how I would explain my pregnancy.— Mary Grout (@flowerpot200) July 14, 2018
When I was young I thought women only had sex during their periods. And I knew I would never have sex or get pregnant because that was “so gross”— Rebecca J. Clark (@RebeccaJClark) July 14, 2018
I believed that you’d only get your period for one day a month and thought it was like this big deal and you can’t do anything but bleed. Imagine my surprise when I found out it can last up to 7 days and life doesn’t stop because of it.— Trap Money Kimmy ✨ (@KimmyKAOS) July 14, 2018
My aunt got pregnant with her first thanks to some heavy petting before the wedding and was a virgin. Told my uncle she was pregnant the day before they got married. They used condoms for the first 4 months of their marriage because she didn't want twins.— Larissa Ryerson (@Bradyscrazymom) July 14, 2018