The mother asks people whether she is in the wrong for not caring about her ex-husband's daughter and her feelings.
Broken families are tricky to handle for all the parties. Moreover, if the separation is caused by betrayal, then it becomes more difficult to come on the same page. In such situations, children with no fault of their own get hurt. u/Fearless-Pipe7307 finds herself in a dilemma as she has been successful in ensuring that her son does not receive any emotional blowback due to the divorce but has failed when it comes to the other kids in the household. In order to find a solution to this dilemma, she discussed the whole thing on Reddit to get different perspectives.
The woman explained in detail how this situation came to be. She recounted how her husband cheated on her after 9 years of marriage. They shared a 3-year-old boy at that time and she immediately filed for separation. The father welcomed another kid, a girl, with the other woman. The other woman soon went out of the picture. At present, after five years, the woman lives more comfortably than the man simply because she has one child to take care of while the man has to take care of two.
The woman ensures that all her son's needs are taken care of, as she said, "Our son wanted to do extracurriculars, so I pay for those. I also make sure he has all he needs for school." The father struggles to provide for his daughter the same way, in which, the woman does for her son. It has caused a lot of issues with the daughter, who constantly gets disheartened by seeing her brother enjoying things she can not get. The mother rarely takes any help from the father, and therefore, the latter cannot put a stop to it.
Therefore, the father initiated a conversation with the mother. He wanted them to "work together so both kids can be equally looked after." It irked the mother, as the girl was not her responsibility. She also clearly told him it was not her fault he was financially struggling because of having two kids. The slight jab hurt the ex-husband, who asked the woman to consider that the children were innocent in the situation.
The situation came to a head when both the children started school. The girl had to compromise on many supplies while the boy had all and more to take to school. This, as per the father, made the daughter upset. He argued that since both the siblings are going to be in each other's life for a long time, this will create issues. The mother again firmly told the man that his concerns and issues were not her problem. The father lost his cool and called the woman a horrible person. Even though the woman does not believe she did anything wrong by refusing to lower the quality of life her son enjoys, she still wants suggestions from a third party and came to Reddit. She wanted to understand whether she should feel responsible for the girl and take care of her feelings.
The comment section was overwhelmingly on her side. u/who_knows2023 believes that because of the history, the daughter's care completely falls on the father, "NTA in the slightest. It is his job to explain to his daughter why her brother has different circumstances. 'Meant to work these things out together' is funny coming from an adulterer."
u/GoreGoddezz believes that there is no problem if the boy doesn't rub it on the girl's face, "NTA. The truth is, his other child isn't your responsibility. Although, I feel so bad for her. She didn't ask to be born. Her mother abandoned her and her dad is struggling. By his own accord, of course. Does mom's family not help? Hopefully, you raise your son well enough to not rub it into his sister's face that she's thought less of."