Mother makes a strong case for 'pre-gaming' kids to avoid being the 'mean mom'

Handling kids is a challenging task, especially when they begin to throw tantrums or act rebellious. Sometimes, impulses may cause a parent to react regretfully. In order to avoid such behaviors, it is better to prepare a child in advance before any event so they know and understand what is expected on their part. Destiny Bennett (@thebennettgang) shared a useful tactic of “pre-gaming” kids, which she uses herself. The mom suggested 3 steps to follow this idea and pursue a gentle parenting approach. In her TikTok video, she shared an example of how she does “pre-gaming.” “You guys have to start pre-gaming your kids,” the mom said before explaining with an example, together with three of her kids.

“Just tell me if this has happened to you. You try to do something nice for your kids, nobody’s listening, it’s pure chaos, you have to yell at everyone and now you’re the mean mom,” the woman expressed. She then mentioned that she was about to break the generational curse of being the mean mom with the concept of pre-gaming her kids. While the mom and her children were on the beach, she called her kids together in a group. She then began pointing out the steps to pre-gaming one’s child. Step one is not to impose threats and lead with empathy. “Help them remember that mama is a human and has feelings too,” the text overlay read.

Illustrating an example with her kids, the mom explained to them, “Mommy gets very nervous and a little bit overstimulated by the ocean, okay?” She then pointed out to her kids that there are 3 of them and just her alone and she gets nervous because she can’t save all 3 of them at once. Her kid, however, mentioned that being 5 could protect them. To respond to this, the mom calmly acknowledged her child’s words and added, “The ocean is still dangerous and we have to be safe.” 

With this, the mom came to the second step, which was setting clear rules and boundaries. In her case, the mom told her children that the rules were to stay close to each other and stay together. She also said, “I’m gonna set a boundary for how far you can go into the water and you may not cross that boundary.”

After this, the mom came to the third and final step, which was to set clear expectations and appropriate consequences. She explained to her kids what would happen if they refused to obey the rules. The mom said, “You guys each get one warning and if you cross that boundary again, you’re gonna have to sit out for some time.”

The mom concluded the “pre-gaming” by making her kids understand that she wished for all of them to have fun. People in the comment section appreciated Bennett's idea and shared their views. “I want to have fun and I want you all to have fun too and not to get overstimulated and stressed out because if I do, I can’t have fun,” she said calmly. @countrykidscarseatsafety added, “We pre-game our kids in the car before events. Set expectations, what will happen if they aren’t met, etc.” @mystique.eunique shared, “This is beautiful. I try to transition myself from yelling every day and love to try new things.”