Mother-in-law buys treats for all grandkids except one, but the girl's mom wasn't having it

A recent post from Reddit user u/TrueEnough782 has ignited debate over favoritism within families, particularly when it affects young children. The user shared screenshots of a conversation with her mother-in-law, showing how her daughter was repeatedly left out while other grandchildren received treats and gift cards. According to the post, the incident took place at the home of the user’s sister-in-law. While the mother-in-law was on the phone with her daughter, she was informed that u/TrueEnough782 and her husband were visiting.

Shortly after, the MIL arrived at the house carrying candy, toys, and Amazon gift cards, which were handed out to all the cousins, except for her 7-year-old granddaughter. "When my daughter looked inside the bag and realized there was nothing for her, the look on her face just crushed me," the mother wrote. Despite having time to prepare and knowing they were visiting, the MIL did not bring anything for her granddaughter, who is the only child of the user and her husband. In a series of texts, the mother confronted the MIL directly, saying, "I hated seeing my daughter’s face when she realized you brought nothing for her...It’s the way you made [her] feel that hurts me." 

The MIL responded by saying she didn’t know the girl would be present and claimed there was no malicious intent. But the mother pushed back, noting she had overheard her sister-in-law telling the MIL they were over, and saying this was not the first time it had happened. "She watched her cousins open up little treats and redeem gift cards or whatever, and she didn’t get to join," the mother wrote. "I don’t care if you think I’m being dramatic, but thinking about it truly breaks my heart." The behavior described in the Reddit post aligns with findings from multiple studies showing long‑term consequences of perceived favoritism. Research synthesizing data from 30 studies and nearly 20,000 participants concluded that parental favoritism often hinges on traits such as gender, birth order, and temperament. When one child appears more agreeable or conscientious, they may receive more affection and resources.

The post has generated strong responses from other Reddit users, many of whom defended the mother's reaction. u/SinamonChallengerRT wrote, "Not over-reacting. I'd bet a paycheck that this isn't the only issue you have with your MIL. She sounds like a very selfish, miserable woman. Next time it happens, make the other kids call her out on it. She needs to be humiliated, that's the only thing that's going to get through to her." u/Key-Twist596 commented, "She's not too young to remember at 7! If she didn't know your daughter was there, she could have redistributed the treats between them all. She made a choice not to. Not overreacting."

u/PhantomLily36 added, "Oh man, this hits too close to home. MILs can be a trip, can’t they? Handling this with more grace than I would've! Props to you for keeping it cool but standing your ground." u/LoubyAnnoyed noted, "Your daughter will absolutely remember the way she is excluded. Your MIL is setting a standard for her relationship with your daughter for the long term. She needs to do better."