Mom’s take on 'spoiled kids' shows why saying 'no' isn't always the answer this holiday season

No parent wants their child to be spoiled or misbehaved, but pinpointing the cause of such behaviors can be challenging. A stay-at-home mom, Lia—known as @lia.m.w on TikTok—shared her insights on the issue, along with a potential solution. According to Lia, the key might lie in how parents say "yes" to their kids. She explained the distinction between gentle parenting and permissive parenting, highlighting how each approach influences a child’s behavior and overall development.

"You don't make spoiled kids by saying 'yes' too much. You make spoiled kids by saying 'no' and then when they cry and whine and yell, you change your mind," the mom explained. "It's so true. I'm not worried about letting my kids indulge from time to time. I'm not worried about them having too much fun or being too happy or enjoying themselves too much." She continued, "I am not worried about comforting them when they're having a hard time, even when they're 'misbehaving.' But when I do set a boundary, it is held and then I tell them what they can do because telling them what they can do is more empowering than telling them what they can't."

The video's caption read, "PERFECT distinction between gentle parenting and permissive parenting." The video received more than 44k views and over 4k likes. In the clip, the mom stood in front of a Christmas tree with her baby, sharing timely advice for the holiday season when kids’ demands often increase. Many viewers in the comments supported her perspective, sharing their own experiences with balancing "yes" and "no" when addressing their children’s requests.

@red3chicago wrote, "Yup. My kid never throws a fit or even complains when I say no. Because it's a 'not today/not right now' type of thing. She gets lots of yes and knows when I say no, it's a hard no." Lia disclosed, "See! My kiddo still gets upset with no at 2 1/2, but he is very, very quick to redirect!" @bbaeb commented, "Also, listening when they respond reasonably and collaboratively to change your mind. Show them an appropriate way to problem solve instead of throwing tantrums." @aubreeteaches remarked, "Kids learn boundaries by how well you stick to yours. If you want them to set boundaries, show them how."

@ivsu22 shared, "I never ever make empty threats. Or false promises to get my way. So he always believes me when I say I'm going to do something and no bribing either!" @killertraffic expressed, "Preach. My mom was really hot and cold about things. Would get really mad about something valid or not, take my stuff, then give it back halfway through the night after she crashed. This didn't do me any favors." @mirandarrowe pointed out, "Yes! I want my children to have a deep well of joy to draw from when they inevitably experience difficulties in life. I want joy to be familiar to them, not something they're constantly seeking externally."

You can follow Lia (@lia.m.w) on TikTok for more parenting content.