Many on the internet, irrespective of whether they chose the right person or ended up in a failed marriage, agreed with the mom.
Unlike in previous decades, failed relationships and marriages have become commonplace now. Society might be used to it but only those who go through with it might understand the heartbreak that tags along. To anyone fearing that heartbreak, it looks like there's a way to prevent it. Recently, a mother's valuable advice on how to choose the right person to marry has been making its rounds on the internet. A Florida-based fashion influencer, Madison Messer—who goes by @sweetteawithmadi on TikTok—shared a video of her mom's pearls of wisdom and it could not be more relatable to the internet.
When Messer was having a cheerful girls' night with her friends and her mom, the topic of "marriage" popped up. The mom was asked to give the young women advice on how to choose one's life partner and what she said left everyone in awe. "The person you marry, you need to know with all your heart, will take you through the death of your mother and the death of your father," the mom said. If a person is not up to that challenge, the mom believes that a woman shouldn't marry him. Messer's friends unanimously approved of the mom's advice and realized how important this aspect was.
It turns out that Messer's mom was a living example of her advice. She shared that, before marriage, she spoke to her husband about the subject of her parents' death and about her expectations from him. She was proud that her husband knew how hard it would be for her and understood her expectations. In fact, her husband had a different relationship with his parents compared to what she had with her parents. Yet, he chose to offer her emotional support while she got through her mother and father's death. "Marry a man who'll do that for you," Messer's mom said in the end. Messer felt that this "intense yet strong" message had to be shared with the world.
Many responded by saying how relatable the advice was. Both people who were successful in their marriages and the ones who failed noted how important a partner's support is while grieving the loss of a parent. "After the first date with my husband, my dad died. Six months later my mom was diagnosed with glioblastoma. I imploded and gained 50 pounds. He married me and bought us a house on a lake," said @janinegenx. "My brother died when I was married to my ex-husband and shortly after, I knew in my heart I needed to get a divorce. And I did. I grew and healed and found someone that will do that for me," wrote @west_coasting_. "My parents always said, 'We won’t be here forever, your children and siblings will have their own families. Your spouse is your family through it all, so pick someone who will be in all the phases for you,'" added @amft92.
Who could be more qualified to offer marriage advice than a couple celebrating the Diamond Jubilee of their marriage? An Oregon couple who celebrated their 75th wedding anniversary in September 2023 shared a secret to a long-lasting marriage with KGW News. Gene and Virginia Nelson eloped and got married over seven decades ago and through several bickerings and differences, they stayed strong. While Virginia thought that their marriage secret was that they were "just meant to be together," Gene added, "Have patience through the good times and the bad, try to be honest and faithful."
@sweetteawithmadi My moms advice advice to all my girls at girls night… an important message
♬ original sound - Madi Messer
You can follow Madi Messer (@cindycamponovo) on TikTok for fashion and home decor content.