Mom's eye-opening questions for her daughter to reflect on before sex have the internet taking notes

Often, the conversation about sexual well-being and reproductive health results in awkward silences with parents. But this mother-daughter duo has defied all the taboos by breaking away from the usually dubbed "behind the closed doors" approach to the topic. Sarah Biggers-Stewart, who goes by @thebiggersthebetter, took to TikTok to share the three insightful questions her mother urges her to ask herself before having sex. Speaking about her mom, Sarah shared, "She just had the most incredible way of talking about things that made you feel comfortable and also expanded your worldview a little bit. I can think of no greater example than how she talked to me about sex. Her sex talk was unlike any of the sex talks I heard my friends get and it changed my life."

The content creator went on to claim that she never had any regretful sexual experiences thanks to the unfiltered conversations her mother had with her. Before delving into the questions, Sarah recalled her mother discussing condoms, STDs, pregnancy and birth control. To everyone's surprise, Sarah’s mom is of the firm opinion that love and sex are two separate things.

Describing it as a false comparison, the mother advised Sarah to never misunderstand sex for love. “They think that love is always involved, and sometimes it is. It often is, right? Like, it’s someone you’re in a relationship with, someone you care about, but it’s not always," the daughter quoted her mother as saying.

Rather than asking yourself, "Do I love this person?" as per Sarah’s mother the questions should be: “‘Am I safe? Am I respected? Do I respect myself?’” The video creator elaborated, “Am I safe? Am I in a safe situation with a safe person, being safe with condoms, birth control? That one’s more objective, right?” The second question Sarah's mom advised her to ask herself was whether her partner respected her. “The question can be flipped to, ‘Do I respect this person?’ because am I respected? She kind of meant it like, is this a person that I trust to share this vulnerable experience with? Do they respect me enough to have earned this right?” she explained in the two-minute-nineteen-second-long video.

And finally the third and final question was, does Sarah respect herself? Dubbing it as a "big one," Sarah remarked, "She (Her mother) said this is where people lose themselves. Can you wake up tomorrow and feel at the least neutral, but ideally happy, satisfied, proud of the decision that you made and how you made it? " According to the woman’s mother, the only way for her to “go forth” with her partner is to be proud of the decision to be with him. 

Several people reacted to Sarah’s video, which has gone viral on social sites. Among them, @m3lcreations wrote, “As a woman whose mom didn’t even talk to me about sex, thank you! I will be sharing this with my daughter.” @swearinnerin asked, "Can you say about what age she had this talk with you? Taking notes for my own talk with my daughter." Replying to this, Sarah wrote: "We had an age-appropriate sex talk when I was in 5th grade because I started my period then. Then again going into middle school. Then this full-on conversation was in 8th grade I believe. But prior to that, she answered any questions I had and said she kinda followed my lead. Like if we were already talking in the car about something relevant, she’d pepper in guidance along the way."

You can follow Sarah Biggers-Stewart (@thebiggersthebetter) on TikTok for parenting content.