The mom-of-three downloaded a counter clicker app on her phone to document every time her two older boys asked her for something.
Are you the default parent in your family? Here's one way to find out, according to TikTok user @jothemama. In a video titled, "Why moms of young children are consistently losing their mind," the mom-of-three decided to document just how many times her young sons approached her with varying requests using a simple clicker counter app on her phone.
"I have three boys, ages 5, 3, and 1, and I continuously lose my sh*t. Sometimes it comes out. Sometimes," she confessed. "I lose my sh*t right around 2 or 3 p.m. every day without fail. My husband works from home. But he does not lose his sh*t consistently. So, what's going on?"
The exhausted mom downloaded a clicker counter app on her phone and tapped it whenever her two older kids asked her for something. The woman was specific too as she skipped hypothetical or theoretical questions and only included actual requests for snacks, meals, the pool, television shows, juice, butt wipes, etc. Looking at the counter app an hour before she usually "loses her sh*t" she already saw the tally at a whopping 86 requests!
She clarified that she doesn't count duplicates and has ignored the incessant repeating of requests until she performs the task. “They go to bed in seven hours. I’m not even halfway through the day,” she lamented. "I guarantee you that if I were to ask my husband how many requests a day he gets at work... it's in the single digits, for sure," she added. The video concluded with one of her kids coming up behind her, right on cue, asking for a snack. Followed by, "Well, why are you sitting there?"
Many moms in the comments could relate to Jo. with @bekfaith saying, "I thought I’d count how many times I heard 'mommy' but when I got to 30 in 4 minutes I quit that game." @thru.sarahs.camera suggested, "You should definitely count the repeats. Adds to the deteriorating patience 100 percent!" To which Jo replied, "Maybe next time. But I’m here to prove a f**king point."
@mamaishealing pointed out, "That ending though... point proven." @jordanray547 said, "I've been wanting to count how many times I hear 'mommy' in a day but I don't think I want the answer tbh." To which @jothemama responded, "My dad offered my mom 5¢ every time she heard 'mom' in one day when I was a kid once. She made $75 in one day among 5 kids."
I’m the default parent, which means 95% of sick days I’m on duty and I manage all kid logistics. My spouse does bath and the dishes every night. I used to feel guilty, but I’ve come to value my labor, even if it’s not easy to see in the daily routine.#InvisibleLabor #FairPlay— Rev. Skadi, godess of righteouss anger (@BlairTStowe) January 8, 2023
The discussion on women being the "default parent" in relationships is nothing new and many parents have opened up about how exhausting it can be. "Are you the default parent?" asked the mother and blogger M. Blazoned in a 2014 Huffington Post essay. "If you have to think about it, you're not. You'd know. Trust me. The default parent is the one responsible for the emotional, physical, and logistical needs of the children. Spoiler alert: It's typically the one with the uterus." Do you all agree?