Mom struggling with infertility shares the rarely-discussed reality of IVF treatments

Becoming a parent is a far-flung dream for many and the in-vitro fertilization (IVF) process has proved life-changing for many people by helping them reach that dream. However, the success rate of IVF is not one hundred percent and it varies with the age, genetics and health of the woman attempting the procedure. Despite the growing literacy levels and the awareness of IVF worldwide, people who struggle with infertility still face insensitive questions regarding their pregnancy journey from both strangers and those close to them. Gaby Dalkin (@whatsgabycookin) who is an author and entrepreneur, shared her take on the infertility issue through an Instagram post and it proved to be an alleviating message for those who are going through a strenuous journey to conceive a child.

Dalkin is a 37-year-old entrepreneur who founded the food blog platform "What's Gaby Cooking" and the pantry essentials business, Dalkin & Co. She has over 957k followers on her Instagram with whom she shares her food recipes and life updates as well. Dalkin, who has a 2-year-old toddler, decided to conceive another child through IVF as she was struggling with infertility.

Talking about her IVF journey in her post, she wrote: "Last year we decided to start the IVF process. Early December I started all the drugs, did the trigger shot, went in for my retrieval, sent those embryos out for testing and then put them on ice (or ski camp as I like to call it). Fast forward almost a year later and we’ve had 1 semi-traumatic miscarriage (the miscarriage itself wasn’t traumatic and one day when I figure out how to share what happened without too much information I will), 1 failed transfer, 1 chemical pregnancy and now we’re out of embryos."

Dalkin expressed her concern for people struggling with their IVF process and reminded the world: "We never know what anyone is going through, what their plans are or if they even want kids. It’s a tough question for a lot of people, so just something to consider before asking. This is just a gentle reminder that the 'bun in the oven' 'you should have another' comments can sting for many."

Dalkin's struggle with infertility began more than 5 years ago, before her daughter Poppy's birth and with the recent IVF failures, she realized that the online content on IVF success is "not everyone's reality." She says: "I’ve developed such a thick skin the last 5+ years of our fertility journey, maybe it’s even too thick, as I’m not afraid to throw our struggles back at someone to hopefully increase their awareness and sensitivity to the subject." 

"Be thoughtful about the questions you ask, regardless of who you’re asking," she added. Dalkin's words resonated with many and talking to Good Morning America about the responses she said: "It's overwhelming. The amount of people who are saying, 'Thank you for destigmatizing this and making it feel more normal', is just wild." Her optimism over the infertility issue is mainly because she has come across other people dealing with the same issue and sharing her opinion.

"I just want people to have a little empathy for others in their lives that are going through it," she said. Dalkin intends to continue encouraging women who are coping with infertility to speak about it publicly and also looks forward to leading a conversation to know how to help women who are suffering in silence.