Mom points out the stark difference between the hobbies of men and women, and it's eye-opening

A mom on TikTok is getting candid about the difference between male and female hobbies, and it's eye-opening. Paige Turner believes that men have gotten the sweeter end of the deal, interestingly pointing out that traditional male hobbies tend to take them away from the home and caretaking. In a now-viral TikTok video, @sheisapaigeturner writes in the caption that men get to enjoy their hobbies during the daytime due to the "unpaid labor of women." She goes on to explain that women’s hobbies "typically are scheduled around the needs of the family and take place outside of traditional caretaking hours. When women marry men, they lose time for unpaid labor, but when men marry women, they gain time. This plays into their ability to participate in hobbies."

In the video, she claimed that "female hobbies often revolve around the schedules of their partner and their children and account for the domestic labor that they are handling and any kind of mental load that they carry." According to the mom, traditional men’s hobbies include golf, hunting, rock climbing and training for a marathon. All of these (conveniently) take them outside of the house, away from the kids and family during the day. As for traditional women's hobbies, they include gardening, painting, reading in a book club and even socializing with friends. Notice how all these can be done at home itself? And in short spurts too. “We are able to and required to typically work our hobbies around the schedules of our families whereas men's hobbies take them away from that,” she pointed out.

In this way, as in most cases, moms become the default parent because "men are able to leave the home for those extended periods of time during caretaking hours because they have support at home. Most women do not feel like they have the same support when they would like to take on a hobby.” Data from time-use studies show that mothers consistently end up with less free leisure time than fathers, even when both parents work. For instance, a Pew Research Center study done in 2014 compared how mothers and fathers in the U.S. spend their time and found that mothers spend significantly more hours on childcare and housework, which cuts into the time they have for hobbies or personal activities.

Fathers, on the other hand, are more likely to enjoy leisure in longer, uninterrupted blocks, the kind needed for activities like sports, outings or hobby sessions outside the home. The study also highlights that moms’ leisure is often fragmented or multitasked with caregiving, which makes it feel less restorative. Overall, the data show a clear imbalance in how free time is distributed between men and women within households.

She even goes on to point out an example where a mom would get intense backlash if she considered golfing in a women-only league. Who would take care of the kids? The home? When she's gone for hours? “They may be met with a response that that is unfair, that takes them outside of the home, that is putting too much responsibility on the other partner and that is not kind of equal division of labor, right?” Turner said.

The sad part is that Turner believes that women might take up certain hobbies only out of convenience and not necessarily passion. “Like often people joke like, oh, women love flowers and gardening. They don't all love that. One of the reasons they might get into it though is because they can do it from their home with their children. So it's something they can do together,” she said. People in the comments had a lot to say about her perspective. @mciara95 wrote, "You could add to this video about moms having guilt when it comes to their hobbies versus men who never think twice about taking part in their hobby." @jessie0656 added, "The other thing is that because so many men are incompetent in the home, women don't feel comfortable going off for 4 hours on a Saturday."

This article originally appeared 2 years ago.