Mom shares why she wouldn't be raising 'tough boys' and the internet is in agreement

It is not uncommon for people to raise their kids as per gender stereotypes and with common notions about how a person should act according to society. But quite a few times, raising kids as per set standards can be quite detrimental to their mental health and emotional growth. A mom, Jen Hamilton—who goes by @_jen_hamilton_ on TikTok—said she would not be raising "tough boys" and her reasoning behind it through a video. Many people on the platform thought it was the right choice.

As the video began, the mom showed a photograph of her two sons on the screen and said, "These are our boys and we have decided not to raise tough boys." She added, "That might sound crazy, but when you raise your kids to be tough or tell them to toughen up, you're teaching them how to mask true emotions that they're feeling to appear strong." Hamilton went on, "And what happens is these tough little boys grow up to be men who can only express one emotion. And that emotion is anger from pushing down their feeling so much like a beach ball underwater that when that boundary finally breaks. It comes out as temper — throwing things, yelling."

"What we're teaching our boys is to feel deeply and to allow yourself to feel those feelings and that even the negative emotions that we experience as human beings are there to protect us," the mom explained. "So, for instance, if my son comes home and he was left out of something, I don't say, 'Get over it' or 'Toughen up.' What I say is, 'Hey, that sucks. And I know exactly what that feels like and it hurts.'" She expressed, "And in allowing themselves to feel those things, they're able to be more deeply empathetic in other situations where they may see someone being left out."

"But when we say things like get over it or toughen up, you're telling them that those feelings aren't valid and then they are not able to see those feelings as valid in other people," the woman pointed out. "So you end up raising selfish, narcissistic men who can't see the emotions of others as valid." The woman revealed, "I never grew up in a family where my dad yelled or threw things, but my husband did. And I am so grateful that he could get down on his knee in front of our little boys when they're feeling something big and be able to empathize with them." She concluded, "And no, I don't think it's ever necessary or helpful to expose my kids to harsh situations to toughen them up."

People took to the comments to support the mom. @mommastime39 wrote, "I'm trying to get my husband to understand this. He gets mad at me when I tell my son to express himself when he has feelings. My husband says, 'I'm just coddling.'" @janerzzzz commented, "Yep! This is how we're raising our little guy, 'soft yet strong.' Teaching him how to process emotions healthily. It is not lost on me that we're raising somebody's husband and father." @moogand77 remarked, "We did the same. Now I have the sweet, empathetic, free-thinking young men that I am so proud of. They are also really great at conflict resolution."

You can follow Jen Hamilton (@_jen_hamilton_) on TikTok for more family-related content.