Mom shares life-changing hack to prevent sibling rivalry and jealousy and it makes so much sense

There are often dilemmas parents face when they welcome their second baby due to the changes the family collectively goes through. More than anyone else, it is hard for the toddler to accept a new member and understand that they need more attention and care. A child may not understand that the reason behind the same is the fragility of the baby and may tend to develop conflict or feelings of jealousy from the lack of attention. Kristin of @biglittlefeelings shares a simple trick to avoid inculcating these feelings in one’s child in one of their Instagram videos. The account is dedicated to parenting tips and ideas, especially for toddler parents. 

In the video, the mom shared that often when a new baby comes into one’s family, the older child naturally gets less attention with all the new changes unfolding. However, the way this is communicated to the child can be a root cause of feelings of jealousy or rivalry between siblings. Kristin, who is also a parent coach, shared that one can avoid such feelings by simply rephrasing while communicating with their older child. “Here’s a life-changing hack to prevent sibling rivalry and jealousy. It’s called, ‘Don’t Blame the Baby,’” she says in the clip. The mom then pointed out that parents often subconsciously blame the new baby while trying to make their older ones understand why they can’t provide as much attention to them. 

Demonstrating an example, the mom is seen holding an infant while she’s talking to a toddler. She said, “No, I can’t play with you right now. I’m feeding the baby.” In another example, she said, “No, we are not going to the playground right now. Your sister is too fussy.” In all of these examples, the mom highlights that parents are blaming the new baby for not being able to spend time with their older child. “Now think about this from your toddler’s perspective. ‘Ever since this little crying thing came into our lives, all of a sudden I can’t be loud, mommy can’t play with me anymore and I can’t go to the park,’” the mom explained. 

She then mentioned that such interpretations would lead the child to conclude that life is not fun because of the baby. This can sow seeds of jealousy or rivalry that can continue to grow. The mom suggests rephrasing how one communicates with the child. She mentioned that one can still say the same things with different words. “Just don’t blame the baby,” the mom said. Sharing the same examples the mom demonstrated by rephrasing, “Yes, I will play with you. I need six minutes and then I will play with you.” In another example, instead of blaming the baby for being unable to go to the park, the mom said, “We can’t go to the park now but we will go to the park after nap time.”

The caption of the mom's post read, “Bringing home a new baby is a big transition for your toddler! It's hard having a brand new sibling move into their house and take away the attention of their parents. If you blame the baby for taking away your time and attention, your toddler will naturally start to resent the baby.” Several parents saved the hack and even commented on the same. @danedaney said, “This has always been my mantra! I have four kids, two years apart each and had really smooth transitions.” @belindaselene said, “I saw this post before giving birth and it’s by far the best advice I’ve ever seen.”