Mom shares honest opinion on why 'connected parenting' is better than 'gentle parenting'

The term "gentle parenting" has been widely embraced by several parents. It has become a well-known term that is being embraced by aware parents. Parents rely on "gentle parenting" as a better approach to bringing up their children not only as they grow but also in the longer run. However, Nicki Marie (@nickiunplugged) revealed that another method of parenting is as comfortable and genius that helps both, the child and the parent. She posted a video on TikTok to share how she prefers the term, "connected parenting" over "gentle parenting."

According to topcounsellingschools.org, connected parenting is when the parent tries to empathize and connect with the child, build a relationship that will allow their instincts to be the guide in parenting choices. She begins by saying, “I just saw this term called connected parenting.” She then goes on to say that she doesn’t prefer the concept of gentle parenting because nothing about her is “gentle.” Elaborating on the same, @nickiunplugged said, “Field hockey, all American here, I didn't do that by being gentle.” 

She then explained why she preferred connected parenting, “Connected parenting tells me more about myself than any other term I have ever heard.” The woman, who is a mother to an 8-year-old explained how connected parenting gives way to associate and form grounds based on understanding as opposed to gentle parenting. Nicki shared a sample instance saying, “Hey, you wanna be a b**ch to me? I’m gonna stop you right there because you’re not allowed to do that. But then I also understand that I ain’t allowed to be a b**ch to you either just because I’m the mom, that ain’t fair.” 

Nicki tried to focus on the understanding between the child and parent with her example. The child understands why they shouldn’t be doing a particular thing but, the mother also understands what her behavior and approach should be as well. She expressed it as a two-way method of communication. According to the article, “A connected parent would say things to empathize with the child and then offer options that satisfy both of them. This is one of the key parenting models that a child therapist would strongly encourage." She continued to explain, “That ain’t life. So, let’s work our way through it together, let’s talk openly about things.” 

Further in the video, she also tried to bring her perspective as a first-time parent. The mother shared how she practices connected parenting with her 8-year-old. “This is my first rodeo. That’s what I tell my daughter. My first time being a mother to an 8-year-old, harder than I thought,” Nicki said. She concluded her video by mentioning how well her daughter takes that statement, “And then she’ll laugh, she understands.” 

Fellow parents shared their preferred parenting terms. Several others even shared why they prefer connected parenting, agreeing with @nickiunplugged. @jessmartini said, “I used to say, ‘connected-focused parenting’ too because that’s what resonated with me best.” @bluefoxden said, “Connection over compliance.” Connected parenting is more or less similar to gentle parenting. However, it is more focused on a term of understanding which is brilliantly expressed by @nickinunplugged in her video.