Tia Slighthman, who regularly posts on TikTok, tells parents to set clear boundaries with kids, without yelling at them.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on March 23, 2022. It has since been updated.
Children often drive their parents up the wall, constantly pushing the limits. In most cases, it takes a parent losing their sh*t for the kids to finally listening to them. Tia Slighthman, a parenting coach, said it doesn't always have to be that way. Slighthman shared an insightful video on TikTok, about setting clear and concrete boundaries with kids so you don't have to yell for them to listen to you. Many parents who watched the video had a lightbulb moment with many vowing to try Slighthman's methods to get their children to listen to them. Slighthman, a parenting coach, teacher and bestselling author is also the mother of two kids.
Slighthman, who goes by the name of @parentingcoach on TikTok, often discusses parenting styles and techniques on her channel. In the video, she asks, "Do you want to know why your kids don’t listen until you yell and lose your sh*t?” She then proceeds to answer the question and said that the onus on setting the boundaries was with the parents. She goes on to explain that kids are born with the need to push boundaries until they find the breaking point, which, in most cases, is their parents yelling at them. The video has been viewed more than 5 million times and has many parents praising her.
Slighthman explains that a normal scenario would involved parents first, asking their kids nicely, followed by reminders, nagging, and then eventually losing their temper and shouting. Only at this juncture, do most kids actually stop and listen to their parents. After this becomes a repetitive pattern, kids learn that they do not need to listen when asked by their parents until they lose their temper. It thus becomes established that the boundary is set at their parents shouting at them. “They listen when a boundary is set and that boundary is set when you yell,” said Slighthman.
“I’ve been working with kids and families for over 16 years," said Slighthman, reported Bored Panda. "I’ve used my system and easier parenting formula in my classroom of students, with my own kids, and thousands of parents (clients) around the world,” she added. The parenting coach urged parents to set "concrete, clear, and consistent" boundaries without yelling. Tia said the emphasis must be on “shifting your parenting to shift your child’s behavior.” She has a master's in early childhood education and has also created a 12-week online coaching program, The Parenting With Purpose Method. “It is my methodology that guides parents to create battle-free days with their kids. No yelling, anger, punishment, or guilt! Finally having kids who listen, cooperate, and act respectfully in a non-combative way!”
Slighthman believes parents setting boundaries is a learned skill, so it's important to monitor their own parenting style as opposed to control their child's reactions. She also urged parents to not be harsh on themselves, reminding them that “setting boundaries is not intuitive, loving your kids is.” Many parents praised her methods and thanked her for the idea.