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Mom refuses to split family and send kids to grandparents' Christmas inn where her husband can't go

Mom stands up for her husband and refuses to send her children to a holiday that disregards him and his needs, sparking debate.

Mom refuses to split family and send kids to grandparents' Christmas inn where her husband can't go
Representative Cover Image Source: Pexels | Mikhail Nilov; Reddit | u/Miserable_Horror_980

Families are supposed to be the place that accepts their members in all conditions. A safe space for them where they do not have to struggle with their issues of daily life. It is what u/Miserable_Horror_980 loved about her family Christmas the most. No matter what happened, they always accommodated her husband, letting him truly enjoy the holiday cheer. But, this year, they changed everything. They chose to do an event that would be impossible for her husband to participate in. As a token of appreciation for all the years of Christmas joy, the woman let it go and just thought of skipping the event. The grandparents were happy with the decision and asked her to send the children, which she refused. It caused a huge conflict and now she is on Reddit for a third-party view.

Representative Image Source: Pexels | Irina Demyanovskikh
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Irina Demyanovskikh

The woman began the post by explaining her husband's situation, "My husband was injured when we were in high school (almost 18 years ago now) and uses a wheelchair now." They are parents to four children- one from his previous relationship and three of their own. They are all living happily together, enjoying every holiday as a family. Each Christmas, they visit the woman's side of the family. She explained, "My parents usually host a big Christmas every year with all the kids and their families. Sometimes, it's at their home and sometimes a vacation destination." 

It is always enjoyable, as they ensure it is accessible to everyone. But this year, they went a different route. She wrote, "They've chosen to have it at a mountain/ski resort that is largely inaccessible and would have a lot of activities that would leave my husband out." Not wanting to bother them, the family decided to do their own thing this holiday. The woman informed her about their decision to her family. They took it positively but extended a demand, "How about you send the kids and you can do your own thing." She rejected this demand as she wanted her family to be united during the holidays.

Her reasoning is simple, "If we couldn't all attend, nobody would attend." She did not want to send the message to her children that it is OK to leave one of their own behind for a bit of fun. Family comes above everything and allowing her children to do this activity will not match her teachings. Her family refuses to understand this argument. They believe she is a bad parent by not sending her children on the trip. It caused second thoughts in her mind and she came on Reddit for a third-party suggestion.

Image Source: Reddit/u/Disastrous_Oil3250
Image Source: Reddit/u/Disastrous_Oil3250

The comments section was on her side. u/Loow00 called out the family's ignorance and commented, "NTA, this is amazing. Of course, NTA. They've excluded your husband from Christmas and their solution is, oh, that's OK, you can just split up your entire family for the holidays?! Do they have a problem with your husband? Because honestly, I almost feel like this would be *less* awful if they've done it on purpose than if they've been *that level* ignorant towards him and your whole family."

Image Source: Reddit/u/FindingNatural3040
Image Source: Reddit/u/FindingNatural3040

u/AppropriateCupcake48 wrote how this is the right call, especially on Christmas, "NTA. They should've been more thoughtful before they booked anyway and then the whole thing about sending the kids? That's pretty oblivious. They could take the kids on a no-parents ski trip another time—this is Christmas."

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