Mom reached her tipping point when her 'lazy partner' forgot to feed their baby

Parenthood is a rollercoaster ride that no one can fully prepare for. There are sweet moments and also times when the exhaustion and frustration seem to outweigh everything else. And it becomes even harder when one parent feels like they're on this ride alone, as what happened with u/pigglewiggle30. The mom shared a raw, unfiltered glimpse into this reality.

"Yesterday, I had a rare hangover day after a friend's engagement party and I managed to let my hair down. I still took our 13-month-old son out for a nice long walk, went and did a food shop and then made myself and my partner and nice extravagant lunch, and watched our son while he took a three-hour nap," the mom started her post. By the end of the day, she was barely keeping her eyes open. When her partner “nipped out for 20 minutes” and left her alone with their son, she struggled to stay awake, setting alarms every two minutes to ensure she didn’t doze off while the toddler was still awake. Her partner returned and told her to go to bed, "He came home and told me to go to bed and he’ll get the boy down to bed. I told him he needed some dinner and went up to bed," she said.

In the middle of the night, she woke up and asked what their son had for dinner. When her partner said, “He had his milk,” as if that was a perfectly normal substitute for a proper meal. At that moment, everything came crashing down. She tried to understand why he hadn’t fed their son, but after some back and forth, his excuse was, “I didn’t know what he eats and you didn’t feed him dinner either.” At that point, she realized her partner wasn’t oblivious or forgetful. He was lazy, to the point where it bordered on neglect. She said, “You’ve watched me make him dinners for the past three months. You know what he eats. You were just lazy to the point of child neglect.”

She had been noticing his laziness for a while. She had tried talking to him about it, but it always followed the same pattern. He would get angry for a day, fix things for a few days, and then return to his old ways. “Nothing gets done in the house unless I do it and explicitly say. This includes childcare, housework, food planning, and cooking.” She felt punished for taking one day to herself. In her own words, “I feel so unsupported. I feel like I’m being punished for one day/night out. I feel like I don’t have a partner.”

It wasn’t just about the dinner. It was about everything else that had built up. "If baby wakes up in the night, so do I. If he’s wide awake at 5 am, I’m up drinking coffee on the sofa with him. If I make my partner comfort him in the night, he won’t check in his basic needs, he’ll just get frustrated that he’s making noise," she said. His solution to a 5 am wake-up? Stick the baby in the crib with a toy and go back to sleep, leaving her to take over. The frustration came to a head when she realized this wasn’t just about dividing household tasks. It was about respect. “I’ve just come to the realization that my partner doesn’t respect me and that he’s a lazy dad,” she concluded. “I need to leave.”

In an edit to her post, she explained that she lives in a very high cost of living (VHCOL) area, and leaving would mean staying with her parents for a few months before she could sort out housing. She shared "Fortunately, we’re not married and we don’t own any property together. Outside of our rent, the only thing we jointly pay is one of the cars." Despite all this, she knows she’s done. Even when her partner tried to be a good dad the next day, it was too late. She made dinner for herself and the baby, left the mess, didn’t put away the baby's toys, and barely said two words to him that weren’t about their son. “I’m done. I know I’m done. I feel nothing anymore," she concluded her post. 

Her post resonated deeply with the Reddit community, with many commenters offering support and validation. "Weaponized incompetence is usually when it comes to general chores and upkeep. This man’s actions are neglect. He failed to feed his child!" said u/Kayslay8911. "Unreal. Not feeding a child simply because you can’t be bothered? Even if he somehow 'didn’t know' he could f*****g Google it! He’s not really that incompetent. He just doesn’t want you to take a break next time because you know things won’t get done. Men who do this sh*t disgust me. I’m so sorry." added u/Lucky-Possession3802. u/Appropriate_Fox_6142 commented, "Wow! I am so sorry that you were treated so horribly! Kudos to you for sticking up for your son's safety and well-being and getting out of that situation."