The mother has been in a tough situation ever since her husband, who was her best friend, had an accident that left him with impulse control issues.
Childhood is a magical time and it's the parents' responsibility to keep it that way. For the little ones, it is a time not marred with the problems of adulthood. They are supposed to be optimistic about their future and not deal with emotional turmoil. It is what u/HumanContest5030 wants for her 3-year-old daughter. But circumstances are failing her. Due to a cruel twist of fate, her partner is in a terrible situation and she wants to support him. But, this support is coming at the cost of her daughter's mental health. She is in a horrible predicament and wants to prioritize her daughter.
The mother started the post by providing a background of how everything came to be. She wrote, "When I was pregnant with her, my husband had an accident and suffered a severe traumatic brain injury." The injury was so intense that he required round-the-clock medical care. The situation was challenging for the woman to navigate as she was entering a new and special phase of her life all alone. She explained, "He was hospitalized for the first 5 months of her life and then we moved 5 times trying to get care for him. We finally settled closer to my family and I about killed myself trying to care for the both of them and work full time for 2 years."
After all the exhaustion of 2 years, the woman could transfer her partner to a facility close to her home. He still needed a facility because of his impulse control and mobility issues. The decision was taken for the betterment of the family. They would be at a close distance from each other and could have more regular meet-ups. Unfortunately, the partner is still not ready to be a father as he is cognitively a teenager.
The whole experience is not shaping up the way the mother imagined. She explained, "He's never been a traditional dad. He's read books to her a handful of times and interacted with her at meals. Otherwise, his attention span is about 10 minutes." It's not enough to develop a relationship. Besides, the father is also showing some temperamental issues. Every time she and her daughter exit the facility, he gets angry at not being able to go home with them. The situation reached its peak when amid an argument, she said, "I love you" to him and he crudely replied that he didn't. It caused the daughter to step in and say, "I still love you, Mommy."
The daughter was comforting her at the age of 3, which made her mother emotional. It made her realize how complicated everything is and how much this impacts the daughter. The mother wants to change the situation because her daughter deserves better. But this is not so easy as the father does have affection for the daughter. She wrote, "My husband loves her and talks about her all the time to others." It is not his fault that he is in this situation and she does not want to punish him. She came on Reddit to get suggestions about how to navigate this heartbreaking situation.
The comment section empathized with her impossible situation. u/boardrbabe wrote how the woman should also prioritize herself, "I first want to say, I am so sorry about your husband’s traumatic accident. I hope you have been given resources for yourself, as this is such a life-changing event. I used to be a therapist at a very reputable rehabilitation facility for TBI and SCI patients. Ultimately, the decision is up to you and what's best, but honestly, I've seen more patients abandoned due to their injury and it is just as hard on them. They still deserve to be treated as humans."
u/youcancallmebryn commented on a suggestion to cope with the situation, "I don't know the answer. My heart feels for yours. If I were in your shoes and possibly had the means, I would look into a child psychologist or some kind of family/child mental health specialist to help address the circumstances based on your kid's development stage as they grow up. An internet stranger is rooting for you."