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Mom pays her kids to pursue their hobbies and not for doing chores, sparks debate

Many praised TikToker Destini Davis for teaching her kids important life lessons including finding a satisfying job.

Mom pays her kids to pursue their hobbies and not for doing chores, sparks debate
TikTok/@destini.ann

Everyone has their own parenting style, but everyone wants to equip their children for the life ahead. Parents take different routes to help develop positive traits in children that'll help them live fulfilled happy lives. There have been various instances of parents paying children nominal amounts of money for doing house chores. The idea was to inculcate in them a habit of doing house chores that they can also continue doing well into their adult lives. This one parent is taking a novel approach by paying her kids to pursue their passions. TikToker Destini Davis posted a video about giving children an allowance to pursue their passion and parents are loving it.

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Davis said the idea was to let kids have a positive and rewarding association with passion and money, which she believes can help them pursue rewarding careers and jobs that make them happy. The video has been viewed more than 1 million times with close to 55,000 people liking the video. "Let me know if this is weird," started Davis in the video. "I do not pay my daughter for chores. But I do pay her for the things that she is passionate about," she said. 

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Davis used the example of her daughter's love for gymnastics to explain the concept and her thinking behind it. She said that her daughter enjoyed gymnastics but wanted to quit as the training got tougher. That's when Davis decided to step in and provide an incentive to continue pursuing something that she loved. "I said, you know what? Let's make this your job. I'll pay you for that. And my belief behind it is that I want my daughter to know and have a positive association with money ... (and feel that she) can actually get paid to do something that (she) enjoys," said Davis in the video. "I can choose something I feel good about. I can leave my family for 8 hours to do something that makes me fulfilled."

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Many praised Davis for incentivizing her kids to pursue their interests, with some saying that they may have pursued their hobbies if they had been encouraged similarly while growing up. Davis was drawing from her own personal experience and wishing she had learned to handle money and value it early on in life. "Money management was a real challenge for me because I never practiced it growing up," said Destini.

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Jaynay Johnson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, spoke to Buzzfeed about the idea and said it helps lays an early foundation for good money management and letting kids know that they will be rewarded for their commitment and effort. "An allowance is positive as it can help children learn about money management, be incentivized for using their skills, and completing tasks," said Johnson. "It also teaches them that they should be compensated for their effort and commitment." However, she warned that the incentive must be done right and never be used to punish children. "For example, if you agree to give your child [an] allowance for cleaning their room but decide not to give it to them because they didn’t clean it by a particular time, that can be considered punitive," she added.



 

Davis said in her daughter's case, money wasn't the only reward to pursue gymnastics but rather as an added motivation. She drew a parallel with her own work-life. "Similarly to how I love my job, but some days I don’t want to go. Some days, my passion isn’t cutting it. On those days, that added incentive of a paycheck gets me through the door," said Davis.



 

 

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The parenting method sparked debate on the internet with one person questioning the idea. "My thing is, her daughter already decided she didn’t like it, so is she not indirectly teaching her to suffer through something she doesn’t enjoy just to get paid?" asked one Twitter user. Many praised Davis for the idea. "This is actually brilliant. I quit a lot of things growing up because I felt embarrassed because I didn't think I was good enough for any of them. This could alter a growing adolescent’s perception drastically and for the better! That’s a wise and loving mom!" they tweeted.