Mom influencer explains how there's no 'measurement of success' for stay-at-home moms and sparks a conversation.

The days of stay-at-home moms are filled with invisible victories like well-fed kids, a clean home and an adequate nap time. However, these accomplishments are often overlooked by society and, in many cases, even by their own family members. Their worth goes unnoticed based on traditional benchmarks that relate success to monetary achievements or career growth. Voicing out this issue, a mom influencer, Syd—who goes by @eclectichomeschooling on TikTok—shared a video and many parents could relate to it. Syd expressed her views on how there is no measure of success for stay-at-home moms and homeschooling moms and it's something to think about. 

Comparing it with workplace norms where people receive congratulations when promoted or when they show off their skills, the mom said there's nothing like that for stay-at-home moms. Even the little compliments they receive on their motherhood might make them feel good, happy and loved, but they are not tangible like professional success. She also pointed out that certain victories are measurable, like a clean house, completed chores, lunch box packed, and field trips are taken care of. Even if all these are done perfectly, they are only "tied to your existence of living" and not success as we know it. 

"When you're tying your success to this thing that you spend 24 hours a day doing things that have to do with you as a person as well, it can be really draining," Syd explained. So being a "perfect parent in a measurable way" means not having even a second of rest ever and everything in your life appearing to be perfect, as per the homeschooling mom. She added, "But we know that's not real, right? We know that's not healthy for a person. So then you go back to just, like, not having any sort of validation, really." She pointed out that despite knowing she was a good mom, partner and friend, she wasn't able to measure that in the past 8 years.

When her friend said, "There is no mastery in motherhood," Syd could totally get it. The partners or spouses of stay-at-home moms go to work, get promoted, accomplish something and call it a success, but the moms cannot say the same and Syd says that this is less spoken about. Especially during rough days, this thought hits her hard making her think that she's not good at anything, even if her husband reassured her that she has done a great job. "Show me on the graph where I'm good at something. It's hard because a lot of us don't prioritize hobbies for ourselves," she added. Though Syd didn't have any solutions to this, she thought maybe focusing on one's own interests would be a measure of success.

Syd's "rambling" about motherhood struck a chord with several stay-at-home moms and parents on the platform. "I tried to put this into words last night for my husband but couldn’t ever say it this way. I never feel like an accomplished individual now- I just feel like a mom," said @kaseyrenninger. "No one could have ever explained this to me before I was a SAHM. It is, on my best days, interesting to notice how tied we are to corporate-style success. At my worst, it is inescapably crushing," chimed in @leighgvg. However, @twohorsesoneass had a solution to this, "My measurement for success was when I sent them off, from preschool to college, was the feedback about how kind, funny, and empathetic my kids are. My success is setting them up for success."

You can follow Syd (@eclectichomeschooling) on TikTok for more insights on homeschooling.