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Mom shares hilarious list of things she didn't think about before having a baby

'You still take care of your baby even when you're on your period. The government doesn't send anybody to help or anything,' the 32-year-old revealed.

Mom shares hilarious list of things she didn't think about before having a baby
Cover Image Source: TikTok/myemtv

There are so many things about having a child that nobody really talks about. Sure, many people who are trying to have babies dedicate countless hours to absorbing the advice from every parenting book on the planet, in the hopes of being fully prepared for when their little humans arrive. However, it's impossible to learn it all and only when the baby is actually in their arms do most parents realize they never stood a chance. Emily Haswell, 32, is one of them. Haswell—who goes by @myemtv on TikTok—recently shared with the world a list of things that caught her off guard when her baby was born.


In a video that's racked up more than 621,000 views, the new mom said: "Hello, these are some things I didn't think about before having a baby that I urge you to consider. If you are having a baby with a dude, you will have to hear your mom call him 'daddy.' If you have a bathroom emergency while you're alone with your baby, your baby has to come with you because they can't survive. And they just watch you with dead eyes as you fight for your life."


"You still take care of your baby even when you're on your period. The government doesn't send anybody to help or anything. Boomers really don't care about visiting a 32-year-old woman that's gonna yell about police brutality every time they visit, but they are very interested in visiting a little cute baby that can't talk. So just know that your family is going to be around a lot more," Haswell continued. "You're responsible for clipping your baby's fingernails, even though it feels like something that a surgeon should be doing."


Lastly, Haswell revealed that nobody had prepared her for the wide—and sometimes disturbing—array of noises that babies are capable of making. "The majority of noises that babies make a sound like they're not long for this world. In reality, they're just tiny scientists. You are the test subject, and the experiment is how many times a day can they make you go, 'Is she okay?'" she concluded. Haswell's video hit the right chord for many parents, some of whom shared their own harrowing tales of bathroom emergencies, fingernail clipping incidents and the unforgettable horror of hearing your mom call your partner "daddy."

"Today my baby pooped while I did and it felt like family bonding time," commented one TikTok user while another chimed in: "I've never clipped my son's nails because I watched my mom accidentally cut off my brother's fingertip as a baby. My husband does it every time." A third TikTok user confirmed that the mom-calling-your-partner-daddy thing is, in fact, terrifying. "I will never recover from my mom calling my fiancé daddy," they wrote. Speaking to BuzzFeed about the response to her video, Haswell said: "There have been so many people who have been like, 'This video reminded me to take my birth control.' Which is hilarious, because yeah, if I saw the realities of motherhood at 22, I would be doubling up on my BC as well."

"People also really related to having to take your baby with you to the bathroom when you have a bowel emergency," she continued. "There is so much content out there that is just parents in sparkling white kitchens who never complain. That's very inspirational, but parents should be reminded that you can love your kid with all your heart and still be annoyed that you can't go to a movie whenever you want. Joking around about the realities of parenthood doesn't make you any less grateful for your baby."

"I love my daughter so much—she recently started smiling, and it feels like literal magic every time she does it; it's unreal. I love her in a way that is borderline embarrassing and not funny at all," Haswell said, adding that despite the love one feels for their child, there are things about parenthood that can be really hard, too. "Being a new parent can be lonely; having an audience of moms who can shout a collective 'me too!' really helps," she concluded.

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