Mom fed up of in-laws who keep comparing her baby to their son finds out she isn't alone

Childbirth is a life changing moment for a couple but it's also a highly anticipated life event for families involved. Grandparents who have been through the whole parenthood experience are naturally more fond of their own child and want the new born to resemble him. This is something that Amanda Hirsch (@notskinnybutnotfat), a new mom and podcast host, shared about her in-laws. Hirsch mentions how she is fed up with the constant comparisons between her baby’s features and that of the father, especially when she doesn’t see any resemblance. 

She noticed that for her and many of her friends, it’s often the father’s side of the family that seems obsessed with making sure the baby looks like their son. In her video, she shares her frustration, “I just want to know if it’s like every dude’s parents that once you have a baby with a dude, the parents, your in-laws, basically want to force the fact that the baby looks like their son." She continued to say, "So they start making collages on Day 1 when the baby’s a newborn and doesn’t look like anything. They’re like, ‘Oh my God, Noe looks exactly like him when he was little.’ It’s like, ‘Stop trying to force it.’”

"Maybe they feel less connected because the mom is the one who gives birth. I’m not sure. But they really try to force the resemblance," she went on to say. 

After her video started gaining traction, many TikTok users shared their own experiences showing that they understand Hirsch’s frustration about in-laws who just don’t seem to get it. "It’s because if they don’t see a resemblance, they might doubt the fatherhood so they attach themselves to every little thing," commented @to_simplementt. "My son is my literal twin. Everybody says it (even his father) except my mother-in-law. She is like 'he looks like our great great great aunt Petunia who died in 1806,'" added @cassiejanexo. "My daughter has red hair. My hubby's beard is a tad red. Everyone’s all 'She gets it from him!!!!!' Meanwhile, my mom is full-on ginger," wrote @user92749263947.

Some comments were heartwarming as well. "My MIL said 'I don’t see my baby, I see yours' when I asked and I never realized how thoughtful that response was until years later," said @circusmaster_. "As a postpartum nurse, I tell all moms, baby is your twin momma! Lmao even if it’s not true haha. We did the hard work," wrote @kdubbb35.  "My mother-in-law actually insists the baby looks like me. She is my husband’s twin. I think she is just trying not to be 'THAT MIL'. She’s an angel," added @ansleyparker772.

Grandparents often end up forgetting boundaries set by new parents for their kids. As they get older, babies rely on adults for guidance, but they also express their choices through actions and eventually words. Australian mother Brittany Baxter brought attention to the need for maintaining boundaries in a widely shared TikTok video where she talked about teaching consent to her young daughter. Baxter expressed her frustration about some adults, including her parents, who struggle to respect her daughter's boundaries, often making it about their feelings. 

You can follow Amanda Hirsch (@notskinnybutnotfat) on TikTok for more parenting content.