Mom explains why kids from low-income families don't need to be grateful for their donated gifts

With the season of giving right around the corner, many people will strive to help those in need. However, the intentions behind giving might not be the same for every person. Annie, a mom who goes by @mom.behind.the.scenes on TikTok, pointed out how many gifts are given from the giver's perspective, aiming to make them feel good rather than focusing on the receiver's needs or wishes. She emphasized that underprivileged kids don't necessarily need to feel grateful for what they receive at Christmas and shared her perspective with her audience.

"I think I am going to regret making this video, but I am going to do it anyway. I am going to say this completely out of a place of privilege," Annie began. She acknowledged that if she had shared these thoughts without the privilege she has now, people might label her ungrateful. "As we head into the holiday season, I am saying this as someone who has children who came from foster care and has lived in very low-income communities; I think there is an idea that people who are low-income should be grateful for whatever they receive." The mom shared that earlier, her children had received most of their presents from toy drives and people adopting families. "Whatever we give them, they should be thankful for it," she explained, referring to the common ideology surrounding holiday giving.

"Whatever gifts kids have to open, they should be thankful for it because we gave it to them," Annie went on. "If you have not been on the receiving end of some of that, you may not have a full understanding of what that looks like." She added, "There's a privilege in that. There is a privilege in being able to tell your parents you want this specific toy and having your parent buy it for you. There's a privilege in saying that I want this Barbie and having them buy that Barbie." The mom explained, "Not the 'Dollar Store' Barbie that will last 24 hours and then break. The toy drive is going to get you the Dollar Store Barbie. Which everyone tells you that you should be very thankful for. Why?"

"Because somebody else said so. Because you are low income. You have to be thankful. You have to be grateful because it's a gift from someone," she emphasized. "That idea is not right. That is about the giver feeling good and not about the receiver." Annie expressed, "If we are going to buy things for people for Christmas if we are going to take that step of empathy and compassion, can we fully consider the people we are purchasing for and what matters to them?" She asked people that if they were planning to adopt a family for Christmas, perhaps they should allow the parents to choose gifts for their children, as they know what their kids truly want. Many people in the comments shared their thoughts on her bold perspective, sparking a lively discussion.

@ndaniels84 wrote, "Unfortunately, in my area, lots of families ask for unrealistic items. I happily buy the real Barbie, but I can't afford to buy my kids iPads, so the Angel Tree kid isn't getting one!" @mrs.trysta commented, "I can understand this. Now that I'm in my 30s… I've experienced both sides of this. I can do better with my gift-giving, too. Thank you for this." @defaultuserjomomma remarked, "My mom taught me to donate something you would have liked for yourself. No one wants a bag of Dollar Store toys. And older children are the most forgotten for toy drives."

You can follow Annie (@mom.behind.the.scenes) on TikTok for more family-related content.