Mom explains why certain bedtime routines don't work and shares a different approach

Getting one’s toddler or child ready for bed can be exhausting. While there are many ways to get kids to go to bed on time, they often don’t work out for them in the best way possible. Shelly Miller—who goes by @theteachermomma on TikTok—highlights positive parenting techniques, and shared an interesting way parents shift from an ineffective to an effective bedtime routine for their kids. Her video distinctly portrays the differences between the two bedtime routines which seem gentle but have contrasting approaches. Sharing the ineffective routine that many parents may be subconsciously applying, the mom shared why the same doesn’t work.

The mom said, “Hey, I said bedtime. Up the stairs now.” The mother then mentioned that being repetitive doesn't help get the message across. Next, she tries to stop her kids from having an argument and fighting and asks them to get into their pajamas. However, the mom pointed out that simply telling them comes off as passive. In the next stance, the mom is seen distracted by her phone while trying to tell her kids to go to sleep. Kids need their parents’ time and attention to gradually get them to fall asleep. It’s not a command or request, but a process. Next, the mother said, “Why is there water everywhere?” Miller was trying to point out the fact that being uninvolved in one’s child’s bedtime routine, like bathing or brushing, is often another cause for inefficient results. In her next example, the mom got a bit stern, presumably from trying to get the kids to sleep but in vain.

She said, “Do not run away, in your bed, now.” Lastly, the mom is seen reacting a bit harshly to her kids, who presumably got up after getting into bed. Miller crossed out all these examples and suggested effective bedtime routines. The first was to be prepared. Miller is seen keeping her child’s pajamas, toothbrush and other items ready. Next, she is seen engaging with her kid, who is playing and politely asking them to stop so they can get ready for bed. After this, the mom is seen guiding her child through their bedtime routine be it brushing, bathing, etc. Miller highlights being “present” and “active” during a child’s bedtime routine.

As an example, she asks her child what they’d like to do while getting ready for bed. The mom also suggests being motivating. She says, “Hey, your bed looks so nice and cozy, I’m gonna snuggle in there and start reading in one moment.” Lastly, the mom suggested using forward momentum so kids don’t have to feel like they’re going to be away from their parents or alone. Sharing an example, the mom says, “Hey, mommy's going to have to go now, but I’ll come to check on you in a few minutes, is that okay?” In her caption, the mom shared disclaimers. One of them read, “Children are different. Being present, engaged and connected with your child might look different than what is shown here.”

She also mentioned that sometimes bedtime can be exhausting, no matter what a parent tries and that’s okay. Many parents appreciated the tactic and even asked other questions about their children. @trinitybirthservices said, “This! They actually need more help than I realized.” @samanthaolevia said, “My 5-year-old had the idea one night to make a drawing of the bedtime steps - it was her idea, so she sticks with it a lot better than being told what to do.”