Stay-at-home mom explains the ingenious monthly 'childcare swap' arrangement she has with her friend

Stay-at-home moms often don't find time for themselves or their spouses. All that they end up doing is investing their time in childcare and fulfilling everyone's needs. However, two innovative moms have devised a brilliant solution that not only allows them to spend time with their husbands but also supports each other. Their ingenious plan involves a monthly childcare swap, creating a mutually beneficial arrangement that provides much-needed relief and support to both families.

In a TikTok video posted by Jess, who goes by @applesauceandadhd on TikTok, she explains how she works out a "childcare swap" with a friend. “It’s childcare swap night, which means that I’m at my friend Emily’s house,” she says in the video. “I fed her kids dinner, put them to bed, and now I’m waiting for her and her husband to get home from their date. And I told them to stay out as late as possible please, because last time they didn’t. We made them reservations at a tiki bar downtown and then they’re going to the movies.”

She goes on to share that they do this once a month. "So, I come over and watch her kids put them to bed and do all the bedtime routines. My husband stays home with my kids, and then in the future, she’ll do the same to me," Jess explains in the video.

After they put their kids to bed, the moms also clean each other's houses. “While we do this, [we] try to pick up each other’s house and just leave it better than we found it. It doesn’t feel like a break if you don’t come home to a cleaner home," she adds.

Jess shares that she helped her friend's daughter with potty training. “I have to pat myself on the back because we are on day 4 of potty training her daughter. And yay, she peed on the potty and we threw a big dance and we have been struggling today. It was a win," she says in the video.

“If you have friends with kids, you need to childcare swap,” Jess states. “It’s so nice to reconnect with your spouse and be something other than just a mom. Because I am a stay-at-home mom and sometimes it feels like all I am is waiting on kids, cleaning butts, and wiping noses. And I never get to be with my spouse at all. Doing this once a month really helps."

The video is captioned, "I love that we started doing this! It is nice to go on a date and spend some one on one time with your spouse without kids on a semi-regular basis!"

Her video was well-received by all parents on the platform. @mmclw4 commented, "I love this but where do we find this thing called friends?" @jessicabobsessica0 wrote, "I love how you said 'We are on day 4 of potty training her daughter.' You’re the village so many of us moms hear about but have never had." @rayliciaslewis shared, "I loved doing this with my best friend because it’s really helpful."

Jess told Scary Mommy about the origin of such a unique idea. “My best friend Emily brought it up first and when my husband and I were struggling and we reached out to our son’s therapist for advice and she suggested this as well,” she explained. “So we started planning our first childcare swap that same week. We now do this monthly!”

“We basically co-parent our kids together,” Jess added. “They are being raised more like siblings than friends. We spend most days together doing park play dates, zoo trips, or just hanging out at each other’s house tag teaming housework and watching the kids. When we potty train our kids we do it as a team. The more hands and eyes on the kids, the easier parenthood is!”

Watch the full video here: