Mom explains how words used by parents play a role in building a child's identity

Parents are their children’s greatest support system. Growing up, a child leans on their parents and learns everything from them. The child may also acknowledge and identify himself by what his parents describe him to be. It is what shapes a child’s belief and self-esteem, what makes them confident and realize their self-worth in the long run. Michelle Jones—who goes by @michellejones.g on TikTok—shared a video on how it is important to believe in one’s child and reflect the same to them. As a mom who stands for body neutrality and positive parenting, she shares several videos spreading awareness about the lesser-known aspects of child behavior.

In her video with her son, the mom stressed the need to communicate with children and let them know that they are capable and worthy of respect. She shared in the voiceover, “If you tell a child that a tooth fairy will come and pick his tooth up, he believes you. If you tell him Santa Claus will come flying on a sleigh on Christmas, he believes you.” Jones continued to point out relatable examples where children learn and accept several statements to be true simply because their parents said so. She continued, “If you tell him, there is treasure at the end of the rainbow, he believes you.”

Jones then comes to the final point of the video and begins mentioning that whatever you feed your child, will become a determining factor in their confidence. “If you tell him he is dumb, lazy or useless, he believes you.” The mom was bringing forth the realization that everything one says to their child holds truth in the child’s eyes and it will affect their thought process and growth. “So tell him that he is intelligent, beautiful, courageous and capable and he will also believe you,” Jones concluded. The child will now believe all these things as well, build his self-esteem and face life with those attributes in mind.

Reposting the same on her Instagram account, Jones added to the video in her caption. She said, “I knew I had to post it here too in hopes that you keep remembering that what your kids hear and see is a reflection of what you say and do.” She added, “Make them believe they are good for nothing and they will believe it. Make them believe they are wonderful and amazing and they will believe it. The choice is yours.” Several parents agreed to this ideology, while it served as an eye-opener for others.

@everdaypda commented, “You must help kids understand themselves so they not only understand their strengths but also their struggles. If you don't, others will label their behavior as bad and they will believe they are bad. Positive identity building is everything!” @cjv.narciso added, “And if you tell them nothing, they’ll believe anything.” Other parents shared in the comments how they practice the same. @worldtravelers_mate said, “This is so true, I can see it in my 2-year-old, we always tell her how smart she is and this has helped her confidence.” @heygirl.itsnicole said, “We have neurodivergent children in our house. So now we compliment each other by saying, ‘I love how your brain works!’, ‘I love that you can see something different than I do.’ It has been fun encouragement.”