Mother shares through a poem the ups and downs of becoming a second-time mother and the way it changed her life.
Being a mother is one of the most wholesome and complicated experiences in the world. The amount of love a mother experiences for their first child is indescribable. Therefore, it was not shocking when the University of Michigan reported that 20% of mothers felt afraid at the prospect of having a second baby. It was because they were scared of not being able to form the same attachment they were able to formulate with their first one. Kendra Barnes–who goes on TikTok by @kendra_barnes_–put into words these feelings of confusion in her viral video.
In the video, the mother of two explained her distinct feelings during her two pregnancies. She put into words the worries and lessons she learned from both her babies. The mother starts the emotional video by addressing her second baby, "You were second." After that, she goes on to add how everything was a bit different when it came to his arrival in comparison to his sibling. She was not fussy about everything or celebrating the event as some life-changing phenomenon. She shares, "There was no gender reveal party. No elaborate showers. We didn't read all the books or check the apps every week to see what vegetable you measured up against."
The mother went on to describe how the situation in her life at that time did not allow her to be as focused as she was during her first pregnancy. "My mind was busier; my body more tired. The worries of a first-time mom had faded and now my thoughts drifted to fears that I wouldn't be enough for you," she said. After realizing her different attitude, she fell into a dilemma, fearing she wouldn't be able to divide her love equally amongst the two children. She expressed, "I wondered how on earth my heart could ever be big enough, how I could manage to divide my time and energy and love equally enough."
Barnes then talked about how all her struggles and doubts whisked away once her second baby arrived. In the next few lines, she elucidated that even though the experience of becoming a second-time mom was different, it was still filled with equal affection. It revealed to her the confidence and strength she never noticed before. More than anything, it showed her the power of heart. She added, "You taught me that a heart is absolutely limitless in size and that love is the antidote to fear."
Barnes ended the video with a sweet message to her toddler, "So, it's true. You didn't make me a mother. But you sure made me a better one." Her extended poem was posted by her on Facebook, where it first became viral in 2019. After that, many moms began using it to express their feelings on various social media platforms. Barnes has now copyrighted it to her blog, Daylight to Dark.
The comment section of the post was filled with mothers sharing how the poem resonated with them. @raideremi wrote her feelings as a second-time mom, "Seconds do hit differently. I sometimes feel sad I'm divided between the two of them, but in the end, they gained each other too, so love grows." @patriapower explained how the poem encouraged her to have a second baby and commented, "Sending this to my husband to strengthen my argument for us to have a second one. This is precious."