Most of us know at least one person in our family or social circle who exhibit transphobic/homophobic behavior but we hesitate to call them out on it. This mom isn't most of us.
Isn't it just wild that racism, xenophobia, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, classism, etc. continue to thrive in today's day and age? You'd think, by now, we'd have kicked such supremely immoral discriminative practices to the curb, right? This is the 21st century, after all. But sadly, no. Even in this supposedly civilized world, many continue to push grossly misinformed and prejudiced beliefs on others. And while all of us know at least one person in our family or social circle who exhibits such behavior, we often hesitate to call them out on it for fear of stirring up drama. One mom, however, didn't think twice about clashing with her ultra-religious in-laws for discriminating against her trans daughter.
Recounting the incident on Reddit's r/AmItheAsshole community in a post titled AITA for refusing to pretend my transgender daughter does not exist?, user AuntieSurprisePants wrote: My husband and I have two children. Our 24-year-old came out to us as a woman this past Thanksgiving. We were really surprised because we never saw that coming, but our support for her has never wavered since the second she told us. Husband’s sister and her husband seem to become more Catholic by the day. I don't have a problem with religion in general but what I DO have a problem with is people using religion to hide behind their racist/classist/homophobic, etc viewpoints.
The mum-of-two went on to describe how despite her or her husband never uttering a word about the questionable parenting of her in-laws, they've had to tolerate constant snarky remarks about how they've raised their children. They run their house like the 'Handmaid’s Tale' and we’ve never said one, single solitary word to their girls (17, 15, 10) that would contradict their parent’s teachings. I would like to add here that when our kids were growing up (24f and 21m) they had plenty to say about religion, our "lack of religion," their political views, and remarks that were borderline inappropriate towards other groups of people. We never called them on it. We tolerated it, she wrote.
Their kids cannot have social media, not allowed to have anything new, only the 17-year-old has a phone, which they monitor all activity. Basically these kids can’t do anything, including being in a play or choir unless it’s church-related. Also they don’t believe mental health issues are real. You pray about that, the Redditor continued. Although she tolerated their troublesome behavior all these years, this mom decided it was time to put her foot down when they took a direct shot at her trans daughter.
They told us Saturday that our daughter is not allowed around their kids because "it will destroy the foundation they’ve built for their kids." I only have 3000 characters so I don’t have enough room here to discuss all the stupid and ridiculous things they said to us. We said, fine, but if our daughter isn’t welcome in your home then none of us are, because if you’re asking me to choose, I will choose my daughter every time, she wrote. But wait, it doesn't stop there. Not only did they discriminate against her daughter, but they also wanted her to turn a blind eye towards their blatant transphobic behavior and pretend everything's fine and dandy while speaking to their young daughter.
They asked me to FaceTime my middle niece because they said she’s really struggling with isolation and won’t talk to them. She asked me during f/t if she can come over and sew with me and I told her the TRUTH: no honey, I’m sorry, your parents said you’re not allowed around my daughter. Suddenly BIL barrels in her room out of nowhere and starts screaming at me that I’ve overstepped and to get off the phone. The look on my niece's face is still haunting me 16 hours later, the Redditor recounted.
I then got a text from my BIL: I am so furious I am shaking. How dare you undermine my authority. Do not contact my children. I’ll never see these kids again until they’re legal adults, she concluded, asking fellow Redditors if she was in the wrong for being truthful to her niece. Most responded in support of the mom as she'd done the right thing by standing up for her daughter. What do you think?