Mom bans son's girlfriend from family meals and the internet is taking the mom's side

Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining healthy relationships with friends, family, and partners. Clear boundaries help others understand your views without feeling offended, but saying "no" can still be tough when there’s a fear of hurting loved ones. That’s the case for one mom from Singapore, who goes by u/TopSherbet9466 on Reddit. She’s considering banning her son’s girlfriend from their family home after repeated instances of the young woman refusing to pitch in or show gratitude at family gatherings.

As strange as it might sound, the 52-year-old mom feels she has no choice but to take this extreme step. It began when her 22-year-old son introduced his girlfriend to the family a little over a month ago. “The first time he brought her over, I took it quite formally and cooked up a feast, but it soon became obvious it was becoming a daily thing,” the concerned mother wrote.

Their meeting got delayed as the son’s girlfriend showed up late, resulting in the food getting cold by that time. However, she chose not to apologize and did not even move from her place when the other family members were packing up after eating. However, the mom of three excused her, saying, “We thought she would kind of get the notion, but since it was her first time here, we didn’t say anything.”

The mom’s disappointment grew when, during another visit, her son’s girlfriend showed no interest in a family tradition of decorating cupcakes together. Typically, the mom prepares the icing, and everyone joins in to add their own finishing touches. “But she (the son’s girlfriend) made it quite clear from the get-go she wasn’t interested in it and stuff,” the mother added. On top of that, the girlfriend has regularly requested specific meals, with no signs of gratitude. What began as a “one-time formal thing” quickly turned into a regular expectation. The mom added that her 17-year-old younger son has also started expressing frustration over the situation.

“He has verbally called his elder brother out on her not contributing anything gently, but she said something along the lines of ‘no ring, no wife duties,’” the post read. However, the mom failed to understand it as a wife duty. She reasoned it by suggesting that “I would do this for my friend’s hangout, and everyone in my house, including my husband, puts a hand in.” The final nail in the coffin was when her son's girlfriend recently requested a specific meat pie to be prepared for dinner. “I am quite done; however, I don’t want to affect my relationship with my son over this. Especially since he really likes her a lot, but I’m really considering banning her from our dinners.”

The mother’s post, highlighting her frustration with her son’s girlfriend’s reluctance to participate in family activities, quickly gained attention on Reddit. Many users empathized with the mom, echoing her concerns. User u/Kinsleyturner suggested, “You should tell your son that she needs to learn some manners. At a minimum, she won’t be welcome at family meals until she does.” u/KittyWise added, “Don't ban her. Instead, simply avoid preparing anything she specifically requests. Prepare what someone else in the house wants, and if she or your son complains, calmly say in front of everyone, ‘I made what **** wants because they help out and show appreciation for my cooking.’”