Mom asks parents to be 'the village' for others if they have no plan to have more kids

They say, "It takes a village to raise a child," and no one can understand that better than the parents with very young children. There were times when new parents had an interconnected web of support in the form of friends, relatives, and neighbors. However, as nuclear families became the norm, parents ended up with little to no guidance or a helping hand and often got distressed while raising their kids. So, a beauty and lifestyle influencer, Lindsey Perez who goes by @lindseymariecolor_ said in her video that parents who are "done having more children" must be "the village" for parents with babies or young kids.

Perez starts her video by addressing the parents who have made a "permanent decision that they are no longer having any more kids." For instance, mothers who are not pregnant, not nursing, and have fully potty-trained kids at home. No diaper bags to carry, no car seat checks and no need to help kids open their snacks because the kids have grown old enough to do things by themselves. "If everything I’m describing sounds a lot like your life now, congratulations—you’re now the village. You’re now tasked with helping new parents," she mentioned. Perez added that such "senior moms" are now "in charge of making meals for new parents, for offering to clean houses, for offering to take the older kids to the park when somebody has the new baby."

Anticipating some retaliations to her perspective, the woman said that some might feel why they should help others when they didn't have a village when they needed. "You didn’t have a village. How did that make you feel? Did it feel lonely? Did it feel isolated? Did it make your postpartum depression worse?" she asked. Perez explained that since it's easier being parents to older kids, the least they could do is show up for the new parents. "We don’t have to pack everything up before we leave. We can say, 'Come on, let’s go, get your shoes on.' We can be out the door, in the car, within a minute. Do you remember not being able to do that for years?" she added. 

So, as per Perez, parents who can have time away from their kids must lend a helping hand to a co-worker, neighbor or friend who has babies or toddlers at home. "They’re going through something really difficult, they’re going through grief, offer to make them food. Be the person that you needed when you were in that new motherhood era and it was so incredibly difficult," she concluded. While Perez's outlook seemed morally right to several "senior moms" they simply didn't have the time for it. "Yes and no. I’m now swapped running to practices, games, events, etc. I’m busy too Mama. It’s just a different kind," said @momlife.gymlife. "I’m in the stage you describe. I’m more busy now than ever. It’s easy to say, 'I’m a village' when you can’t empathize that I’m never home because of kids," added @lottsofk.

However, many other moms were glad to be in "the village" and understood its vitality. "I helped everyone before I had kids, people help me now with my daughter. I’ll always help parents. Raising kids is hard! Yes, I’ll watch them! Yes, I’ll show up!" assured @keshiae. "I love being 'the village.' I definitely didn’t because you know military life, but I offer to help in any way I can. My daughters love being around babies and toddlers and keeping them busy," chimed in @rikirack.

You can follow Lindsey Perez  (@lindseymariecolor_) on TikTok for hair and makeup content.