Mom asks if she's wrong for not changing her last name just because ex-husband's fiancee wants her to

It was once common for women to change their maiden names after marriage, but times have changed. Many now keep their surname, even after divorce. However, this can come with complications. Reddit user u/ThrowRAHappyLiving shared her story, asking if she was wrong for keeping her ex-husband’s last name, despite their divorce.

The 39-year-old woman shared that her ex-husband is pressuring her to change her last name again because his new 24-year-old fiancée requested it. However, she’s not budging. "My ex and I were married for 12 years and have been divorced for 5 years. We have three kids together who are now teenagers. My ex and I got divorced because we were young when we met and got married and we grew apart as people. It was a mutual decision, and we agreed our kids came first and have always co-parented very well," the woman wrote in her post.

Everything was seemingly going fine until his girlfriend-turned-fiancee moved in with him. The woman and her ex would take their kids on holidays together and organize their birthdays as well, but after the girlfriend's arrival, he began refusing to even sit near her during any outing. "I have always been nice to this woman, despite my kids expressing they do not like her and they feel their dad acts differently when she is around. My ex told me early on she wasn’t a fan of me and felt I intimidated her. When I asked him for examples of how I intimidated her, he said it’s my face, that I have a resting b**ch face and it makes her uncomfortable," the post continued.

The ex-husband got engaged over Christmas and the kids weren't happy at all, especially his daughter who felt that he made a major life decision without even talking to them about it. "My ex called me yesterday saying he is giving me a heads up that I have a year to change my last name back to my maiden name as his fiancee is expressing her distaste and concern for her and me to have the same last name when they get married," the woman added. She also mentioned that they had already agreed during their divorce that she could keep his last name until she felt the need to change it and it was mentioned in their divorce paperwork as well.

The mom added that she is not thrilled about having a different last name than her kids but her ex called her "unreasonable" and mentioned how it would make his fiancee uncomfortable. "I told him I couldn’t see it from her side because I am a grown-up and not an immature child like she is. He told me I could ask anyone about this situation and everyone would agree with her. So, AITAH for refusing to change my last name to make her happy?" the post concluded. The Reddit community sided with the woman and left supportive comments for her.

u/anonymoust9090 wrote: "Tell him you'll only consider changing your last name back to your maiden name if you can change the kids' last names also. If he doesn't agree. He can sit on it and rotate." To which the OP replied: "I did offer that as a solution and he completely lost it saying he is their dad and they deserve to have his last name. Yet when I said I wanted the same last name as our kids, he told me that wasn’t a legitimate reason to not change it."

u/4games1 suggested: "You should send him a link to this post. I would be surprised if anyone sides with him. I don't blame you for wanting the same last name as your kids. I would not blame you if you had no kids and simply did not want to deal with the name change hassle. If she does not want to share a name, hubby can change his last name to match her." u/Mmm_Lychees added: "Maybe that’s why he’s gone for a bride closer to his kids' age than his age. Jokes aside she sounds horrible and will probably be extra horrible, especially to your kids, once they start having kids."

This article originally appeared 5 months ago.