Her daughter was inviting the whole class except for two girls. The mom realized that she was showing signs of being a bully and decided to take a stand.
Middle school brings in new experiences, lifestyles and more changes for children. However, a parent must keep in check what their child is learning or embracing and ensure that they grow up as kind and understanding adults. Parents are the ones to stop and correct their children when they’re wandering off. That’s what u/CuteCoyote2080 did when she urged her daughter to invite two girls she disliked to her birthday party. Posting on Reddit, she shared the reason many parents would agree with. The woman began by saying, “My daughter is in 6th grade, she turns 12 next week. She is well-liked and has many friends in her class.”
She added that her daughter wanted to have a cool birthday party with all the necessary decor and planning as popular kids would have. The idea was presumably to fit in and maintain her friendships with those like her. The mother further mentioned that her daughter changed a lot as a child would during her middle school years and said that this year’s birthday party would be big and different, given her added number of friends. The woman then said, “She’s been planning the color scheme, theme and decorations enthusiastically and she even made invitations online that she asked me to print out. I asked her if she wanted me to print one for all the girls in her class and she said she’s inviting everyone except two girls.”
The mother was quite surprised at the idea and on enquiring, she came to know that her daughter was outcasting the two girls only because the other students did so. “She said no one really likes them. This bothered me so I pressed her, asking if they’d ever been unkind to her. She said ‘No, but they have no fashion sense and they’re just generally boring,’” the mother explained. This was the kind of behavior the mother wasn’t up for. She then shared that she compelled her daughter to invite the two girls if she were to invite all the others in class. “She got upset and said I was being unfair because it’s her birthday and it’s supposed to be for her,” the mother said.
However, the woman remained firm on her decision. Sharing her perspective she said, “I’ve met a few of my daughter’s friends and they are weirdly competitive and judgmental. I feel like my daughter has changed a lot since middle school began and I don’t know how much is because she’s growing into a new phase of life and how much is because of the other people she spends time with.” Revealing further, the mom said, “So yes, it’s valid to dislike someone because you just don’t have much in common, but I don’t think this is why her class doesn’t like these kids.”
The woman understood the bias and outcast games the kids were playing as it's often seen during middle school years. Commenters applauded the mother for teaching her daughter the right thing and pitched in their views. u/Spirited_Cod3191 said, “Unless you invite just a few, excluding two children is mean and the parent who enables this ultimately enables isolation, which is a kind of bullying.” u/Ariyanwrynn1989 said, “Scale the party way back until daughter can learn to not be stuck up and fall into peer pressure bullying tactics.”