Having been raised by grandparents themselves, millennials expect the same from their boomer parents who always seem too busy.
As per the age-old saying, it indeed "takes a village to raise kids." However, recently millennials on the internet worry about not having that "village" for their kids like they had in their childhood. Millennials are delaying having a child because their boomer parents are uncooperative with childcare, per CDC. When u/gelbbaer posted her controversial opinion about boomer grandparents being individualistic, several other millennials agreed. She pointed out that though not all boomer grandparents are that way, many choose to be less involved in childcare.
Of course, many boomer parents support their grown-up children financially and emotionally and some wish to do so but can't because of their own issues. What bothered the woman was despite being quite able to support her, her parents refrained from helping her out with her baby. She was raised by grandparents and great-aunts who helped her working parents in childcare during her childhood. She shared, "My grandparents took a very active role in my life and I loved spending time with them as a child. To this day, I have a close bond with them. I had a village raising me, my brothers and my cousins while all our parents worked."
However, that was not the case when she had a baby. "When I got pregnant, I envisioned that my mom would be clambering for that sweet baby time with her grandbaby. 3 months in, she visited us for a total of 3 hours," the millennial mom said. "She's too busy being semi-retired and going out to drinks with friends and watching TV series, I guess?" Though the woman understood that she wasn't entitled to free childcare, it bothered her that her little boy wouldn't have "the village" she had as a child. Also, she highlighted despite today's distressing economic conditions, her boomer parents, "who never went to college and partied their whole 20s, are planning their 5th European vacation and contemplating buying a 3rd house," while she and her husband have a hard time financially.
"They feel no moral obligation nor desire to form a bond with their grandchildren. My baby is a 'me' problem, not a 'their problem.'" she said. This post made a lot of sense to hundreds of millennials on the platform. "They're all different. My parents beg for the baby but then call me within an hour asking when I'll be back. My in-laws guilt-trip me about not seeing the baby enough, but they flake on our plans. Boomers," wrote u/americasweetheart. "100% this. You get the impression from posts on parenting forums that the boomer generation don't view childcare as something for grandparents to do; they view it as something for other people to do," commented u/Magicedarcy.
A millennial mom recently revealed how she felt about it in an interview with ABC7NY: "I dreamed a little bit like the movies where the family unit would be around and parents and grandparents would hold the children and babysit." Though her kids got to FaceTime their grandparents a lot, it bothered the mom that her parents weren't there for her when it came to raising the children. The outlet also interviewed the woman's father to know the boomer's perspective. "Yeah, I do feel a little bit guilty that I'm not more present with the kids sort of in a personal/ in-person relationship. But I think, like a lot of people in my generation, we do feel a financial responsibility," he said. However, it's not the financial support that the millennials expect. The boomers' absence in their grandchildren's lives is what drives the millennials to delay or avoid having children.