Millennial mom opens up on having to live up to the impossible standards of women from the previous generation.
Work and home dynamics have changed drastically for the better in recent times but the unrealistic demands expected of mothers continue to remain the same. Moms have been bearing the bulk of the work at home despite changing times. Kat Bernard (@katbernard_) is not pleased with this. In her video, she calls out the impossible expectations and also blames the '90s moms for perpetuating them in the first place. The mother details the submissive attitude displayed by the matriarchs of the '90s, resulting in an unequal distribution of labor. It has also resulted in men subscribing to the concept of women doing the bulk of work at home. In her own case, Bernard said she participates in regular meetings with her husband to make her point.
Bernard begins the video by asking a question of other mothers, "Does anyone feel screwed over by their mom, a little bit?" She then goes on to explain her intention behind the question, saying how their mothers have made it seem that multi-tasking is normal. The mothers in the '90s worked and were the primary caretakers, which must have been overwhelming. Bernard said, "They did it, and I don't know how they did it."
Though Bernard has a lot of respect for the mothers from the previous generation, she is not too keen on the arrangement herself. She then went on to discuss how it also encouraged men to subscribe to the same arrangement they witnessed while growing up. They do not have a natural tendency to contribute, as they have never seen it happen in their childhood. She cites it as a reason behind more people getting divorced or taking more time to get married. The reason is simple, "we don't want to put up with that."
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Bernard ends by emphasizing how important it is for both partners to share responsibilities at home and in the relationship. As revealed by Reuters, two out of three women resent handling household chores on their own. A study also showed how women on average spend 4.5 hours nurturing their family and household, while men only spend 2.8 hours towards that same effort. Women are no longer functioning with the mentality prevalent in the '90s and are actively choosing their own comfort.
Many agreed with Bernard's points and shared their own experiences as well. @zoebrunelle shared her own findings and wrote, "I read that our husbands are the first generation to be raised by working moms who “did it all” and that’s their subconscious expectation. It’s hard!." @patty_immink like Bernard expressed awe about the strength of their mother being able to do everything, "This!!!! My mom worked full time and somehow we ate home-cooked meals 7 days a week. Like please. How?!?!?!" @danirain__ commented how even the mothers of the '90s are aware of the impossible standard they have set, "My MIL did it all with 5 kids and tells her sons she wouldn’t wish that on her worst enemy. I’m currently a stay-at-home wife with no kids."