Millennial man explains why dads choosing their moms over wives needs to change, and he has a point

Family dynamics change when a man gets married and welcomes his wife into his home. He marks the beginning of his own new family and has to give priority to his wife. However, not many agree with this concept. Many believe that their moms should hold the foremost place in their lives. A millennial dad named Akshat Arora (@themoderndadedit) shared an important perspective on why dads need to refrain from choosing their moms over their wives. In a video, he explained why he thinks wives deserve their place. One can’t help but agree that he’s got a good point. 

On  October 28, Arora shared a remark that is constantly heard — “I’ll always prioritize my mum over my wife.” Sharing with Newsweek, Arora mentioned that he kept seeing a “pattern”— “Men fighting to be seen as ‘good sons’ while quietly failing as partners and fathers and calling it loyalty.” “So many still proudly put their mothers above their wives… again and again,” he wrote. However, the dad explained that this dynamic isn’t likely to work in the long run, especially when it comes to children. To put forth his point, he asked one simple situation: “Imagine being a child and watching your dad constantly choose his mum over your mum.”

When dads picture the whole scenario from this perspective, they’ll realize it’s mind-altering. Moreover, Arora noted that how they prioritize relationships will be something their kids will pick on, too. “The most emotionally secure mums want their sons to stand beside their wives — the women raising their grandchildren with everything they have,” the dad explained. This isn’t because it’s a competition or about giving a hierarchy to love. It’s about what the kids are learning. “As dads, we’re teaching our kids how love works. How respect works. How a family should feel for the person who keeps it alive,” Arora revealed. 

He further mentioned that children will learn different aspects of what it is to love and be loved by observing their father. “A son watches how his dad treats his mum. A daughter learns what she should expect from love,” he said. For the kids, it’s not so much the fact that it’s a dad’s mother vs wife. To them, it might give the picture that their mom comes second. And they might follow that when they grow up. And daughters might develop the notion that wives can come later. The dad emphasized teaching kids through example.

“Parents will always matter. That never changes. Though when you commit to a partner and build a home, your family unit becomes the priority. That’s how you protect the love your children grow up inside,” he said. The focus is to give out the lesson that "Love is not a hierarchy; it’s a responsibility.” Watching their dad exhibit love, the future sons are learning how to be good husbands, while the daughters are understanding how they need to be treated.

“Healthy boundaries. Healthy marriage. Healthy childhood,” he said. A number of people agreed with this new perspective in place. @lornarogers261 said, “My sons grew up seeing how their dad treated me. Now, my daughter-in-law thinks he’s the best husband in the world. Bonus, she treats me like her mother. I’m very lucky indeed.” @constantina_wanjiru added, “It's not about ranking them! Every person has a unique, irreplaceable role. The goal isn't to put one above the other, but to value each one deeply for the essential, different roles they play.” 

You can follow Akshat Arora (@themoderndadedit) on Instagram for more content on parenting. 

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