MIL gave her a stand mixer for her birthday, then volunteered her to host Thanksgiving for 12. The worst part? Her husband had known for weeks
The woman had been married six years and never hosted Thanksgiving even once
Gifts are supposed to make someone feel appreciated, not used as leverage to coerce them into doing something they don't want. On October 4, u/Alarming_Article4240 talked about how their mother-in-law's "thoughtful birthday gift" was part of an orchestrated plan all along. They had genuinely liked the stand mixer their MIL got, but the next day, the MIL revealed why she actually got it for them. The post had 10,000 upvotes and more than 3,500 comments.
AITA for giving my MIL her gift back after she told 12 people I'm hosting Thanksgiving?
by u/Alarming_Article4240 in AITApod
Forcing hosting duties
When the author opened their MIL's gift, the latter immediately said, "Well, now you have no excuse not to host Thanksgiving." The author laughed it off because they did not think she was serious. The next day, they saw a text in the group chat where she told 12 people that the author and their husband would host Thanksgiving. The author had been married six years and never hosted once. The reason? They lived in a two-bedroom apartment with a tiny kitchen that barely fit two people.
The MIL hosted Thanksgiving every year. "Her place actually has a dining room and a full kitchen and enough chairs for 14 people," the author said. The author texted their MIL, declining to host, but she brushed it off, "basically daring me to cancel on everyone." That night, their husband confessed his mother had brought it up weeks ago before their birthday. The main reason she gave them the mixer was that they wouldn't be able to say they didn't have the right equipment.
Husband withholding information
The following day, the author drove to their MIL's house and returned the gift. They said, "Thank you, but I can't accept something that was bought with that kind of condition on it." By the time the author left, the MIL was crying. They also replied to their MIL's text in the group chat and told everyone they were not hosting. The MIL accused the author of throwing her gift right back in her face.
Later, the husband revealed his mother didn't want to host Thanksgiving because it was the first one without her husband. His father passed away earlier this year. Blindsided by this new information, the author concluded, "He knew all of this for weeks and let me walk right into it. He says I could have given her this one year," while the author wished they had asked instead of presenting it as a done deal.
Hit or miss gifts
Gifts can be a hit or a miss. In the author's case, the stand mixer was definitely a hit. But when they found out the conditions that came with it, it ruined the whole meaning of the gift. The Wish Gifting survey, cited by NASDAQ, found that 72% said the gifts they received were extremely disappointing. 40% revealed some of the gifts were so bad they felt insulted, while 25% said the gift led to an argument.
On another note, not everyone wants to host at their place. A OnePoll survey found that while 59% enjoyed it, many were stressed by the idea. The main stressors were making sure people were enjoying themselves (32%), wondering what food to serve (30%), cleaning up before guests arrive (28%), and having enough space for guests (21%). The author was especially worried about the last one because they lived in a small apartment.
Party tent and BBQ
Netizens called out the husband for keeping the author in the dark and made it seem like she was heartless for canceling to host. u/IntelligentRoyal4243 wrote, "Your husband is 100% TA." u/Stadtionalist commented, "The f*ck makes a stand mixer the required tool that makes or breaks a Thanksgiving party for a dozen people? She should've gotten you an extra-large party tent and a BBQ because this party's gonna be at the park."
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