She wondered why her husband's family stopped inviting them — until a call revealed his mom had refused invites for them over one 6-hour lunch
The aunt said she would text the couple directly next time and invited them over for Sunday.
Family relationships can get complicated if someone gets in the middle to dictate other people's decisions. For months, u/NausicaaDrip thought they had done something wrong or offended their in-laws because they had not been invited to any of the recent family gatherings. However, one comment from their husband's aunt during a conversation revealed who had been pulling the strings all along. The post was shared on October 6, 2026, and it had 1,400 upvotes and 86 comments.
MIL has been declining family invitations for us. We only found out by accident.
by u/NausicaaDrip in JUSTNOMIL
Missing invitations
During a conversation, the husband’s aunt asked whether the couple would like to come over for dinner or whether that was still "too much." The author had no clue what "too much" meant. The aunt explained that she had invited them to her birthday lunch in July and a family gathering in September. But both times their MIL (her sister) declined the invitation. The MIL said they could not make it and that they "asked to cut back on family commitments." Both times, she said she had checked with the couple even when she didn't. This was the first time the author heard about the invitations.
Christmas complaint
The MIL would often pass information down to the author and their husband since it was common for their in-laws to organize gatherings through phone calls. The MIL and her sister talked every day, so it was normal. The aunt had their numbers, but she did not want to push by inviting them again when they already said "no." They had no clue that the MIL had been declining invitations on their behalf. The author thought they did something wrong, while the husband assumed his family was busy. When he confronted his mother, she did not deny it. Instead, she used an instance from Christmas to justify her actions.
"She reminded him that we'd complained about Christmas lunch lasting six hours and said she was saving us from feeling obligated. Apparently, one complaint about a very long afternoon means we don't want to see anybody." Meanwhile, the couple was still receiving plenty of invitations to the MIL’s own house. The following morning, the MIL asked the author to tell her sister they had mixed up the dates, saying the situation was embarrassing for her and there was no reason to upset the aunt. The author added, "But his aunt wasn't angry when we talked. She seemed relieved."
The aunt said she would text the couple directly next time and invited them over for Sunday. The author and their husband agreed not to pretend like they forgot the invitations when they never received them in the first place. They concluded, "I hate thinking they've been inviting us and getting refusals. I'd like to actually spend time with these people again."
Manipulative family members
Sometimes, family problems arise not due to disagreements between two people, but because of someone else. Figures from a Harris Poll found that 39% of respondents said they were estranged from a family member because of family dynamics. Separately, a 2025 YouGov survey found that, among Americans estranged from a parent, 31% cited lies and betrayal, while 34% said it was because of their manipulative behavior. Although this couple did not report estrangement, their account illustrates how communication controlled by one relative can leave others feeling excluded.
Show MIL's receipts to Aunt
People flooded the comment section with suggestions about how the author could address the situation with other family members. u/Birk95 wrote, "I would send out a group text message asking the family to contact you directly, as there was a breakdown in communications with previous invites." u/MysteriousDig9592 suggested a petty response. They wrote, "Please go to the events organized by the rest of the family and avoid those organized by MIL. Tell her, "It's too much. We need to cut back on some family invitations.'"
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