Men share the 10 biggest green flags in a woman based on their wholesome experiences

Good personality captures the heart

Though a relationship may begin with mutual attraction, it lasts longer only when the couple's understanding and compatibility are strong. For this to happen, it takes a lot of mistakes and both sweet and bitter experiences. Only then does one realize what is actually important in a person to be their partner. People might find certain traits in a person attractive because it reveals how well they can handle disagreements and make the relationship last longer.

For many years, movies and books have glorified the concept of men being attracted to a woman's external beauty. But in reality, men value a woman's character more than just looks. After all, beauty fades away and character remains till the end. Men have a good understanding of what personality traits they expect in their partner or spouse. So, when u/SealeDrop asked on Reddit, "Men, what are the biggest green flags in a girl?" thousands of male users spoke their minds. Here are the 10 significant green flags in a woman, according to men.

1. Kind without expectations

Commenting as someone who recently found an amazing person after a long time of not being treated well. When they do nice things for you, it’s an investment in the shared happiness of the relationship and not self-serving and it isn’t with the intent of expecting something in return. u/JoeyMaddox.  I’m trying to navigate healthy relationships after a lifetime of traumatic ones and this is 'give and take’. Feeling safe and quelling the suspicions in the acceptance of someone else’s gestures. u/Jokers_friend.

2. Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence. That will apply to men as well. Anyone who takes the time to wonder WHY they feel a certain way vs acting on it out of instinct is a gift. I’ve never been in a relationship like this in my life where we can talk anything out peacefully, no arguments in years, no insults or hurt feelings, emotional intelligence is the key. u/SuspiciousDropf. Not arguing or losing cool when there's a disagreement. Calmly discussing and trying to understand others' points of view. -u/LAW9960.

3. Listening with interest

Asking a lot of questions about me, and actually listening to what I have to say. Going off of that, remembering said details in the future. One thing that shocked me in dating when I was younger was how infrequently women would ask me about myself, what I do and what makes me happy. Some of them would ask but wouldn't remember. And then the same people ask you "Why don't you tell me anything or share with me". There is nothing to share when it's not being received. It was like I was expected to just "be there" along for the ride with her. u/jayhitter.

4. Independent women

Independence. She doesn't require you to be around here to escort her to everything she does. She has her own hobbies and interests but is happy to share them but never pushes them onto you. u/The_Sum. Sure, when you're with someone the point is to enjoy doing things together and spending time together. But my ex literally wouldn't hang with any of her friends, go shopping, or do anything without me right by her side. At first, it seemed cool and then it was just suffocating. u/Krajee1.

5. Strong and willful

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to appreciate strong women who are able to ultimately stand on their own, first and foremost. At this age, we’ve all had our share of bad adult breakups, emotional pain and traumas. It’s all about whether you’re able to still stand up and fight at the end of the day. Even if it’s little by little. u/scsnse. Women who have been vulnerable but still managed to get through it, in a scarred and still standing way, while still knowing how to care and support those around them are green flags. u/Unfair-Rush-2031.

6. Showing empathy

If you see her caring about how others are doing, worried about the well-being of animals and concerned someone is left out or feels down...you know she's going to be a great partner. u/Fritzo2162. I usually get won over by a big heart. So if I hear she’s volunteering at an animal shelter or something, that’s when I know something’s right. u/magicmulder. When they are concerned about your hunger, in a loving way. Always make sure that you eat. u/kind_user47.

7. Supports your hobbies

When she's into your hobbies. They don't have to take part in it, as long as they ask and are genuinely interested, is a big green flag for me. u/PainisDeWitt. When she’s legitimately fine with you having your own time, space, social life, interests, hobbies, etc. So many women think you need to be available to them at all times unless you have a really good reason not to be. Way too many of my friends, myself included, basically feel like we have to ask permission to do anything and get guilted for it even if it’s like once a month or once a week. u/Junior-Newt-9715.

8. Easy to interact with

When every interaction with her, isn't directly being compared to what she saw someone else do on Instagram. If she conveys a sense of being happy with simply being in my company, and that I don't have to always pull out all the bells and whistles trying to impress her and overdo myself and/or her exes. If she can be content with company, and it's not a constant battle to impress and wow, then that alone can shoot a sense of calm into me. u/Crusty_Dingleberries.

9. Takes the first step

Initiative. Not just asking me out, although that's nice too, just in general. I feel like so many women just sit back and wait for the world to come to them. u/Vegaslife84. One time when I was going out every night, talking to girls, hooking up, asking for numbers and dates, one girl one time just asked for my phone, went to contacts, added herself, took a picture for the contact, and put herself as "Jenny, the girl from the bar" And sent herself a text so she'd have my number. It was the most proactive a girl has ever acted towards me. u/rileyrulesu.

10. Positive relationship with parents

Her family is emotionally healthy and her individual relationship with her father and mother is good. u/Competitive_Cuddling. When you’re getting to know her and ask about her family and she says, "I love my daddy. He’s the best!" Right there, you know there’s love and respect for her father. That’s the best thing! u/Defiant_Gain3510. How she treats her family and your family is one of the biggest red/green flags. u/Striking-Echo3424.